taking heed

slightly exaggerated
2016-07-10 00:15:15 (UTC)

trash post by trash man

The world I've carved out for myself is collapsing in on... itself.

This has been the worst year to date, no hyperbole. My mother-in-law died, suddenly and fucking tragically. About the least amount of warning possible for a fucking cancer diagnosis.

(Cue ADD or brain damage or whatever the fuck is fucking with my ability to think and write in a focused manner.)

And I'm just the disabled fucking son-in-law who grew close to her and came to think of her as my own mom (as my birth mom is 900 kilometers away and whom I see twice a year).

I literally can't write anymore. Agitated, can't focus, tired... I'm trapped in this shrinking prision of liquefying mental acuity. Im losing my wife, life - everything because the last bastion of ability I had that was sharp and proficient is fucking failing me.

Texting someone, conversating for more than a few minutes is tedious and taxing. My vision I know is playing a large role in this. My emotional perceptions. FUuuuuc.k

There is no focus.
There is no joy.