LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
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2016-07-06 16:56:10 (UTC)

That-Kid-From-School

July 6, 2016 Wednesday 5:12 PM


I have a Really Long List of things to do and ugh.

-Genome HW (read, take notes, fill out this study guide thing – it's more time consuming than it sounds)

-Microbe Hunters HW (summarize each chapter)

-Go to CDC.com and WHO.org to do some research and begin thinking up three project proposals, complete with questions and hypotheses and reasoning, etc. etc. All outlined. This is to plan for our two big projects during the year. (HW)

-Brainfacts HW (read book, take a lot of notes, make flash cards and stuff)

-Subscribe to the-scientist publication, select an article to discuss with class in September

-Fill out Common App

-Write first draft of college essay

-Study for SATs for 15 minutes (I really, really wanna go to Williams, which means I need to boost my score 55 points at the least)

-Study For ACT (if I decide to take it)

-Study for SAT Literature sub. test

-Study for SAT math 1 sub. test

-clean room

-go running (I haven't gone in awhile, as I've been all busy and my gut is probably getting weak. My thighs should be fine though haha. I have to bike everywhere and I live in a hilly city)

-Um. This bullet on my list just says GET ON TOPPA DAT!!! So.

-Reading my creative writing assignment, which is a chapter of Stephen King's "On Writing." I think it's called Toolbox.

-Organize papers (will I ever get down to this part of the list? I'm so sleepy and it's only 5:30)


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Momma is asleep on the couch, and I want to do the same, but. ^^^^ The above is why I can't.

I'm writing right now. Obviously. I guess this isn't a horrible waste of time, but still. I'm only procrastinating. Before this, I was using piano (practicing Rondo Alla Turca – I'm building up some speed) to do the same.

Myeh.

I saw my (ex) pre-calc teacher today, walking from the high school. He was like, "Hello!" in that goofy, booming voice of his, and a smile on his face. He's, like, a silly guy, but normally when I encounter him out of class, he's got this serious look on his face. Anyway, I was glad he was smiling.

I said hi back, and he was all, "How've you been?"

And from that point on, I was stumbling through the conversation, as usual. Most conversations with strangers or even acquaintances (sometimes even friends) feature me, speaking blindly, and it's kind of scary. Like when I'm playing piano and I forget where I am in the piece, but my fingers keep moving in the right way and I start to panic even though I'm doing fine and theeeennnn all that panic builds until my hands are basically forced to fuck up, motor skills stuttering, all gooped up with the thought: "Oh no I don't know what comes next!"

But I don't think I messed up too badly this time. I think the conversation, which was short, ended before I could lose my balance.

I was all, "Good, how are you?"

And he asked me what class I'd been at, to which I said, "Creative writing," duh.

"Ahh," or something,

and I said another thing like, "Yeah. I've got a.. wide range of interests." I'm not even sure if this fit right in the conversation. I thought maybe he was a little surprised, although I don't know why he would be. In my essay for Math Honor Society – of which he is the head – I expressed my interest in the arts and math. I think. Right? I don't really know.

(I think I wrote about, like. Zipf's Law – is that what it's called? – and the Fibonacci Sequence because. Cool.)

So he's all, have a good day, and I probably said you too, and started riding away on my bike. He called me back for a second to ask if I'd gotten my report card with my final exam grade, which I did, and I smiled to try and convey the message that I was pleased with my exam grade???

Which I definitely was. I got a 100. My final grade for the quarter was actually better than I had hoped for. It was a 99.14, same as first quarter. I think my final grade was like 98-ish. I got, I think, three perfect scores on my finals though!!! In spanish, english, and math.

Math is cool.

(I also got a 99 on US history, but my Chem grade was like 88. Which, okay, is not great considering next year, but my dad comforted me. He said Chemistry was his worst class in high school, and he's a Chemist now so. Well, a biochemist. Who teaches, like, bioinformatics or something.

He was telling me today about a problem he used to work on – the protein folding problem, I guess. I wanna go on and on about it, but I'm tired and also the only person who will ever read that crap and be overjoyed is future me. Sorry me. Do you remember today?)

Ugh, I did a lot of socializing today.

I talked with the girl who told me Elie Wiesel died. I dunno if I've given her a name, but – Kelsey.

Kelsey's taking three classes over the summer for college credits, one of them being Creative Writing. I knew her from track so we talked and all that. She's fun to talk to.

I like the type of conversation she brings out. It reminds me of Laney, almost, except Kelsey is a little more abrasive, and a little more animated (Laney is not very threatening, just sarcastic and cynical haha. Kelsey, though, I'm kind of scared of. She pushed me once and I waS SHOCKED AT THE AMOUNT OF FORCE THAT CAN FIT INSIDE HER TINY BODY).

We didn't really talk about much. Kelsey told me how she got lost in the middle school, explaining the whole process, which would be boring if it were anyone else, but like I said: she's so animated.

Sighghgh ow my back.

Also, note to self: keep an eye on the freshman (I think he's actually a sophomore now) in the Creative Writing class. He was suggested for the class by his english teacher and seems to actually enjoy it and. I hope I get to read his writing in the future.

Another note to self: stop writing, go take a piss because you just drank a half a liter of water in like fifteen minutes and your bladder is already ready to cry – hah, and also do your damn homework woman. The days are painfully short.

Okay.

I also went to my dad's lab today but he only supplied me with an hour of work. Laaame. Will I still get paid the same amount? Probably not.

Mostly, I just labeled the cabinets (only some because other cabinets had inaccurate labels that I could not copy, and the contents of the drawers were all things I didn't know the names of. Some unique plastic dishes, or crazy tubing, etc. etc. Science. I tell ya, science shit is crazy)

and packed tips (tips for pipettes. They come in a bunch of different sizes and I had to move them from the bags to the specially sized boxes one by one. It was tedious, but I really enjoyed it. Because I'm lame).

-----

THERE IS A HEAT WAVE IN NY RIGHT NOW. IT'S GROSS. SO HUMID. WHY.

I'm starving.

Okay bye my head hurts.

OH MAN I GOTTA ASK THAT-KID-FROM-SCHOOL FOR A RIDE BACK TO S C H O O L DURING THE YEAR.

THAT'S EITHER GONNA BE REALLY AWKWARD OR TOTALLY FINE. HOPEFULLY THE LATTER, BUT. I MEAN. YES, I'M HOPING THERE WILL BE FRIENDSHIP, BUT HE'S not the same as my other friends.

He's not, like. In the same "class." Obviously we're in the same CLASS – juniors, but. Well I guess seniors now... Anyway.

Some people call them "the preps," which I think is lame. I usually refer to that general group as "the popular kids."

Not that they're actually that popular. I mean, they're the closest in our high school to the popular stereotype, except they're not usually very mean, at least not directly. They just dress nice and are mostly white, with like. Khaki shorts and polo shirts and glowing cheeks and sperries, ambiguous political leanings (you know how sometimes you can tell when people are republicans or democrats? Yeah, well. These kids kind of rank in between all that, so it's hard to tell).

They're not unfriendly, but there's that social wall in between them and others, except for in rare cases. Like, take Lily's boyfriend (Jax? is what I called him? Maybe?). He'd fit with this crowd, but he's able to sort of drift in and out of other groups as well. He fits very well in Lunch Cru which is evidence in itself because Lunch Cru people (namely John or Sandwich) are hard to get used to.

Okay, but: That-Kid-From-School (if we become friends, I'll give him a real name) is one of the so-called preps. He's... well kept? And white. And already successful, academically I mean. Politically ambiguous. And he mingles with the other so-called preps, most of whom do not really mingle all that much with 'outsiders.'

("Outsiders" is sort of harsh. Like I said, these people are usually not mean and they will not shun you. And, also! All of this is based on observations I've made. I am a socially awkward person, which makes it so I also have this weird wall around me, and sometimes it's hard to tell if a wall belongs to me or whatever person I'm trying to talk to. From what I've seen, the 'popular kids' mostly stick with each other, but there is a chance that they're not as socially isolated as I say.

It might just be me, haha.)

So, in conclusion: I hope for a friendship, but I certainly do not expect one.

I hope for a mostly-relaxed car ride, but I kind of expect an awkward one, at least at first.

Maybe I am misjudging him, but I'm not sure if he'd be friends with a person like me. I'm not referring to my social status or whatever – if that's even a real thing. I'm more referring to my eccentricities, I guess???

I'm not that weird, but sometimes I have a strange way of speaking (stilted, or in the wrong order, I dunno – this is not always, but just. Yeah. I write the way I talk so that should give you an idea) and I have a dark sense of humor and sometimes I come off as an idiot.

I'm very awkward, kind of hard to get to know. I don't even know what I like to talk about. I guess it's different with everyone.

I'm going to have to endure small talk either way.

Grass. (As in the green kind)


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