Purple Dreams
2016-05-08 18:59:45 (UTC)

Mind Muddle

My brain goes into overdrive sometimes. I overthink things. I over analyse things. As much as I want to turn my brain off I can't. Sometimes I don't sleep because I'm thinking too much about silly things that I can't control or change.

I do all I can to appear 'normal'. I do all I can to hide how I really feel. I've failed at that lately, especially at work. I've had a few meltdowns and cried my eyes out on more that one occasion. Thankfully those have lessened as the weeks have gone on.

I have been to the doctor and was given anti-depressants and a referral to the mental health nurse. I've seen the nurse twice and have been referred to join Beating the Blues online. I've only just started that and completed session one...I am quietly confident that it will help me going forward in dealing with my depression and anxiety.

The nurse has also referred me to a psychologist. This I'm not sure will be helpful...I am not good at talking about me in-depth. It can take up to six months for me to be able to get an appointment. I can opt out if I really don't want to go...I'm in two minds about it but at this moment in time I am thinking I shall go through with it. If I go and it's not for me then I'll just not make another appointment.

I am looking forward to feeling mentally healthier. I know it's going to take time...I'll have my down times, I'll question if it's right for me or not and I know I'll have some really dark days while I face up to everything but I'm determined to not give up.

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