šŸƒAmanda22Janeā¤

Ghost Writer
2016-05-05 14:44:40 (UTC)

Not Asleep.

I was so tired and sore after a wet and miserable time walking around town yesterday. My joy was limited to a couple of bubbly and happy shop assistants at a local Church run store, a delicious hot chocolate and a short visit to the library to finish the Creeper story for my grandchildren. The errand I enjoyed the most was at the end of my grocery shopping when I checked out my purchases at self-service. I'm getting faster at it and I'm pleased. I hate hanging around too long in any one place.

Usually I wear a cap when I'm out in the town over and keep my head down. It's a form of identity protection and then again not...yep, I wear this cap but please leave me alone, unless you're going to be nice to me. I really don't want to be known. I'm not a celebrity and I never want to be. Ever.
I'm just another person who prefers anonymity thankyou very much. For those of you in New Zealand who are kind and gracious to me, I love you for that.

Lately I haven't been doing this : wearing my cap. I'm tired of covering up. Looked tired and drained today because I was...that day in the further north part of New Zealand took a lot out of me.

I had to get changed into my pyjamas after I had something to eat when I got home last night and fell asleep. If I hadn't of washed and changed into pj's, I would've just eaten and got into bed dressed in my daywear.

Been up since ten pm worrying...family shit as usual. This has got to fucken end. I'm sick and tired of worrying. It's time to tackle this hurdle even though at times this feels insurmountable.

It's just after 3am...reading...
Wanted to journal earlier but lacked the courage to do so...

Well. It's a matter of carrying on, no matter what...no matter how hard life becomes, I need to train myself to see the good that emerges from adversity and trials, and watch for the beauty and blessings that still happen.

More than ever before I see clearly that the road I am on is by far a less travelled one...such is the law and nature of recovery. Horizons have their purposes.

Peace to all. Amanda-Jane.




Ad: