Songbird System

Raven
2016-05-04 01:23:26 (UTC)

Welcome to Despair

Oh Jesus Christ, with a diary title like that, you would know this entry is already is gonna hurt. Because it is. A lot. I guess trigger warning? I've been on Tumblr too much...xD. There's a fucking trigger warning in my introduction, I don't think I need to put one here. You can kinda tell my voices kinda take over in this diary entry...

Anyways (somebody really should count how many times I say anyways in this diary), time for heavy subject matter. Because things are about to get real heavy.

Time for the less despair-inducing stuff (I swear, I should stop playing DanganRonpa)! I figured out today that my dad lied to me. See, if you didn't know already, I live in two households and I'm a minor. Might not seem like a minor from this diary, but I am only 16, almost 17. So, last weekend, I was at my dad's and I was supposed to be at my mom's. And, remember, my mom is going through breast cancer treatment and really deserves more support.

Yeah, my dad actually lied to us about our mom doing something last weekend and made us think we were supposed to stay here. Dick move, dad. Many people might wonder why I just didn't text my mom, BUT I'M TOO MUCH OF A FUCKING IDIOT TO REMEMBER TO CHARGE MY PHONE OR REMEMBER PHONES EVEN FUCKING EXIST! Oh God, I'm emotionally out of it now. So, here I am, fucking trusting my dad to not fucking lie to me and fucking forgetting that fucking phones fucking exist. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!

Now my mom is fucking mad at me! And my dad isn't getting fucking punished for doing that! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! BECAUSE IT JUST ALWAYS HAS TO BE MY FAULT. IT IS NOT LIKE I'M AN EMOTIONAL WRECK TODAY! NO! I'M FUCKING PERFECT AND FUCKING HAPPY AND EVERYTHING IS MY FUCKING FAULT! IT IS NOT LIKE THIS TRAIN OF FUCKING THOUGHT YOU FUCKERS HAVE MADE ME HAVE AN INFERIORITY AND GUILT COMPLEX! NO, I'M ALWAYS FUCKING OKAY!

And, you know what else is funny. Evan, that fucker who used to date my sister, is still trying to get fucking with her again. Ha ha. Apparently he changed for the better or some stupid fucking shit like that. And he still wants to be with my sister even with all the fucking things that he did to her. Ha ha ha. It is not like I ever get second chances, because, no, I always do stuff wrong and shit, but he deserves a second chance just because he is sad. Boo hoo.

And, here's the funniest thing of all! You know what's really funny! I got fired from my job! Why? Because they found out that I'm asexual. Ha ha ha ha HA HA HA! And I thought this place was LGBTQA friendly! NOPE! HA HA HA HA! I THOUGHT FUCKING WRONG AGAIN! ISN'T THAT FUNNY? ISN'T THAT FUCKING FUNNY?

I wasn't even fucking working, I was going home. And, believe it or not, I was actually having a good day before this. Then I found this girl by the end of the library, so I was like: hey, girl, what's wrong? And then she's like: my parents threw me out because they found out I was a lesbian. So, to comfort her, I told her that I'm asexual and that she can live by her own and not care about what others think. Just as long as she worked hard and didn't do any drugs, that she can make it in the world.

One of my employers was listening in and then fired me. So, yeah, I've had a shit day. Excuse me while I listen to NicoB and snack on a bunch of snacks because stress eating. Hell, I haven't stress eatened in like three years! I need more weight anyways.




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