Heather jay

my destructive relationship
2016-05-03 00:42:16 (UTC)

I guess im going 2 start from the beginning,..

I guess im going 2 start from the beginning, that day I met my soul mate and my life changed 4ever. Im not sure why the universe decided 2 give me some what of an abusive soul mate, but that is the case. Despite everything he has put me thru, and despite whatever happens, if I finally get those big giant balls 2 leave, I know he is at least 1 soul mate in my life. I believe we have more than 1, my cousin and best friend being 1 of my others, because I also believe not all soul mates r romantic. Im getting off track tho. I also must warn any1 who reads this,(if any1 reads this) it wont b clean, there will b bad language and more than likely sexual content, because that is what is probably the basis of our relationship, in the very least it is what defines most of it, I think. And sometimes I will probably b venting, and when I do that I sometimes get a little crude. I apologize in advance. I guess 4 the most part im starting this diary so I can vent, as well as try 2 organize the past so that I might figure out the present. With all that being said, I guess Im ready 2 get started.

I met him at the factory I worked at, and I immediately knew I would eventually sleep with him. At the time I thought it was love at 1rst sight, looking back now im pretty sure it was lust at 1rst sight. Hindsight is 20/20. He was beautiful. Long blond hair, goatee, perfect body. The bad boy that ur only sposed 2 have a fling with, not marry. And bad boy he was. He partied, alot, and he always had (and still does have) a very low opinion of women. Still 2 this day idk why, his mother is an absolute angel. That is 1 great thing I can say about my life, is that I am blessed with not only a wonderful mother-in-law, but also an awesome brother-in-law 2. His family has been truly wonderful 2 me. They r also significant parts of my story, because they r a significant part of my life. Getting back 2 him tho, he was (and still is) very charming (when he wants 2 b). I was married 2 my 1rst husband at the time, but I had been unhappy 4 over a year, I had already been asking 4 a divorce 4 several months b4 I had even met Him. I wont b using his real name, I guess I will call him ben, he actually has a pretty cool name, that suits him, its kind of a shame I won't b using it. I go off course way 2 easy, but getting back 2 the reason im here, I need 2 write a little bit about my 1rst marriage. We married way 2 young, I was still in high school and he had just graduated the previous year. There is 1 thing I can say about that marriage, is that I couldn't have picked a better man 2 b the father of my child. We never fooled with child support, because he always provided anything my son needed, so I never needed it, and we did joint custody. The official agreement was every 3 days, I would have him for 3 days, then he would have him 3 days, etc, but we basically let him stay with whichever 1 of us he wanted or needed 2 at times. My 1rst husband was a very good man, but I couldn't deal with his jealously, plus I had finally realized that it had been puppy love, I guess, he was such a good man (aside from the extreme jealously) that I feel guilty saying I had fell out of love with him long b4 ben came in2 the picture. And let me note that his jealously really was extreme, he would 4bid me from going anywhere, or doing anything with my friends, (this story would have 2 b a whole other diary story) but aside from that he never hurt me. I got plenty of that in this marriage. Anyway, the 1rst 1 only lasted about 8 years. And I didn't actually cheat on hubby #1, except 4 1 drunken night right b4 we seperated when ben and myself were both hanging out with some mutual friends (we didn't have sex, we only fooled around, tho I know that doesn't make it any better). And all tho we were right at the point of separation I still felt so guilty, because I have never believed in cheating. Of course the tale im about 2 tell if I can stay on track most certainly challenges that statement. Because ben also had some1, he had been living with his gf 4 over 9 years, so they may as well have been married. Let me note that the 1rst time we had sex they were seperated, she had kicked him out and moved another man in, tho that most definitely turned out 2 b temporary. After that it became a twisted, painful triangle 4 all involved (except 4 him I guess). 2 sum up this incredibly way 2 long paragraph, I was unhappily married, he was in a messed up relationship, and I had already fell in love/lust???

Long story short, I married, and divorced, the guy that got my cherry, (long b4 we actually got married) the 1rst sex I ever had, 2 marry the best sex I ever had. I divorced the great guy, 2 b with the great dick. U cant get much more fucked up than that I guess.





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