"Those Days Are Gone And My Heart Is Breaking" by Barton Carroll
[I've been listening to this dry kind of music. Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Johnny Cash, Mountain Goats, and these songs I remember hearing on Welcome To Night Vale.]
April 23, 2016 Saturday 3:33 PM
To-day is my birth-day. I am sev-en-teen. And I will stop typing that way now, haha.
I dunno. Today has been normal. I'm happy, though. This past year, there has been a new tradition. It started on my sixteenth birthday, so yeah literally a year. My dad started making these little treasure hunts on special occasions.
So now, on Christmas or Easter or Valentine's day, he and my mom write clues on slips of paper and hide them around the house. They lead to our presents. It's really cute and it makes me happy – reminds me of when I was little and it was always sunny, even during blizzards (up was down, trees pillars, what the fuck let's hold up the sky what).
My legs are soooo tan. My feet are palesies though. Hmmm.
We're going out to eat later.
My parents bought me this really nice necklace-and-earring set. My mom said she wanted to buy jewelry with my birthstone but my birthstone is diamond so... no, haha. That's okay. Diamond is so boring. I like garnet. Or some kind of quartz. Just not diamond. I've never understood why people love that rock so much??? It's glittery but it's just so... cold??? Just. Eh. It's okay. I'd still like it if I had it. Because, I mean. Shiny.
The necklace has, like, mother of pearl and some nice orange stone and yeah, it's really pretty and I'm content because now I have something fancy to wear to the banquet thing I have next month.
Steph also came over and gifted me a weird ass card with a bear staring at its own ass and twenty dollars. I LOVE STEPHANIE AND I MISS HER AND I'M GLAD SHE'S A CONSTANT, EVEN IF SHE ONLY COMES AROUND ONCE IN AWHILE. AT LEAST SHE doesn't go forever. This is good.
I forgot to mention this but some time ago, I had a dream about Ethan. I can't remember what it was exactly. He was just in our house, like, "Hey, I'm back!" chilling with us like old times. I hate that. I wish I understood what happened, but either way I'm okay with the way things are.
Pain is always dull now so everything is always okay. I... am weirdly grateful for that, I think. Bad thing is I'm having a harder time empathizing with people. I tend to get impatient instead. Maybe I was always that way, though.
!!! My dad gave me a "surprise gift" which is that he's bringing my computer to get fixed. I'm a little disappointed in myself for not figuring it out, but I'm glad it will be complete. School was a higher priority than putting together that beautiful, beautiful thing. !!! I'm excited!!!!
I'm just... this is a good birthday. I will go outside pretty soon, I think, because it's sort of a beautiful day and I want to touch the sun.
I think I've disturbed Liv. Dunno. C ya.