Wildheart

Rantings of a restless mind
2016-04-23 01:02:58 (UTC)

Growing Pains

Pain demands to be felt. We can put it off for awhile, repress, deny... but it will always find a way to eventually be felt. In my pain journey, I have learned many things and actually have been pretty receptive to the lessons and revelations. Not everyone is able to do this, I believe I may have been resistant to what was there in my early years as well. In letting go of my two children who left this world, one by the hand of another, or maybe others, and one by his own hand, I have learned that in order to be able to heal from pain, you have to meet it head on. Embrace it, appreciate it for what it is and accept it's presence in your life and when you have spent all the time you need with it... let it go. I guess I would have to call myself blessed to have realized this and apply it in my life. No apologies, no excuses. I am finding that now, I need to find a way to help my daughter through her pain... she is going through her stages of grief and is stuck on anger. At one time I would have tried to offer "words of wisdom" but there are none for this kind of pain... no words of comfort either really... except maybe "I'm here for you" It grieves me to see her suffering this way. As a parent, your first reaction is to find a way to fix the boo boo and when you find there is none, you naturally feel helpless and we all know that is one sucky feeling!! So... I would think my first line of thinking should be like, "This isn't about me, this is about her. Let her have her hurt for as long as she needs to" because I kind of feel anything else would be selfish. This is where all that patience I prayed for is coming into play... she is acting out and she is in need... I will have to remember that time and time again and just be there. I have never been much of a patient woman so please, someone, tell me I can do this!!! Keeping my pie hole shut is another challenge... I can do this!!!
A new level of growth is on the way folks... I will keep you posted.




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