undecided

i am who i am!
2016-04-19 06:53:28 (UTC)

Is this real love?

I started seeing my bestfriend in 7th grade , his name is Erick, Erick Valdez,he usto be "people" back then . He was the funny transferred kid, I remember his first day I passed him a note to welcome him , can you believe they made him take a test on his first day ? Por paisa lmao . His hand died did you know ? Yeah kind of bizzar right ? It's cause it had a heart attack and we'll it died lmao . He wrote me letter , it was so funny . I still have it . But yeah I remember the day I fell in love with him . Crazy right ? Before that we were just friends and I know seeing him one day as a friend and the next loving him is kind of strange and unrealistic but ...tell me why ..I just knew I loved him. It was the day of the band concert , I went to see This guy , I went to support him and everything , Erick was just casually in band as well .Anyways I went to see the guy but he was being such a jerk . What a jerk right ? , I was so bummed out I went to sit down in the auditorium to see him play but I wasn't in any mood to see him . Or anyone let alone listen to the stupid high-school band who didn't even play all that good. I saw down just waiting alone , and next thing you know Erick comes in... it's like as if God knew that we were destined to be together. He sat next to me and asked what I was doing , I just told him nothing , he knew something was wrong and I started telling him all the jerk things The guy did to me. He gave me a little advice but all I wanted to do was leave so we did. We left to the third floor , and that's when he introduced me to his family. Can you believe it ? HE Introduced me? . Erick's brother wanted to go home so he asked me to come alone and that was the first time I got into someone's car that wasn't my parents . We found whiteboy (Alejandro) along the way and he tagged along . I remember sitting in the back of the car , Erick's little brother danny in the middle and erick on one side. We dropped off his brother and for some reason whiteboy got out of the car so Erick drove and he told me to hop inside the passenger seat and so I did. It was just the two of us on the ride back. There was this one song called "Sedatives " by Merkelus in the car playing late at night. All I could do was look at Erick. My heart had this big warm feeling inside. And I swear on everything I known, I realized that I love this kid . Okay maybe like. A lot but I knew I felt something strong for him . After that I got back to the school and I brokeup with tony and I was left in the parking lot and all I could think of was calling Erick and I did and he picked up and he helped me. After that point Erick and I began flirting a lot more . Which all lead to the day he asked me out . On new years . January 1st ,2016. 01-01-16 . In the beginning things weren't so good. Erick wouldn't text me as much. .. I would trip a lot. Erick grew distant and I started to missing the feeling of love... I told whiteboy I did and he ended up telling Erick. So Erick broke up with me . I remember the phonecall. I was crying and he said nothing. I felt like everything was fake. I cried the first day and afterwards I wasn't that hurt . I handled it very sophisticated. A week later I received a "Hi...." from him , I responded "hey (:" being friendly because I didn't want to loose out friendship he told me what he did was a mistake and that me missed me and that he was sorry for everything . So I forgave him . I took him back and we were oh so happy. So very very happy. He gave me his password one day and I did what no one should do at 2 am. Stay up late. Never stay up late . Nothing good comes out of staying up late . I checked his messages and I seen that he "cheated" on me and whiteboy didn't say anything. They both betrayed me. They both hurt me. They both made me realize I can't trust anyone . I went out of town for a while and I had time to think and. I thought and I thought and I couldn't come up with something . I couldn't keep my mind straight until the ride back home. I realized that I cared about him and I was willing to forgive him . We are together now for about 3 months and I am honestly happy . I won't ever forget that incident , nor will I forgive him just yet . It takes time. And I am willing to wait for as along as he allows me too.. Erick makes me feel different... he listens to me and tells me that everything will be okay , he cares about me genuinely and I don't think I have ever been thought about the way he thinks about me or makes me feel.. he changed everything about me , before him , I didn't think I would ever be with anyone who loves me But erick..? Erick loves me more than anyone ever did and I hope we do have a forever thing and if we don't then I was close . I was close to feeling love .


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