Do I have no more emotion
Trying to move threw the storm
After finding out the whole truth about being cheatted on for 6yrs and losing trust to the man I thought was faithful to me and who I thought was diffent from all the other guys other there. I am TRYING to move past it and trying to make it work and put that behind me but it is hard. I really loved this man and trusted him with all my heart and would of done anything for him, now i feel like those feelings are not the same. I do love him but it is not the same love I had for him, how can you heal from a broken almost dead heart? I never felt the way he made me feel. I am seeing he is trying but we do not agree with each other decisions, i had no voice before but after all this I will speak up. I express what i want without fearing if it will piss him off, i think that fear of me pissing him off has passed. He did this to me he made me like this and he hates it. I respect him but not the same as I used to, I want to see him the way I used to but I honeslty dont think it will ever happen because when I was growing up I prayed to god to send me a guy that is not like my father. I know it is not gods fault, the guy i married couldnof been the guy I prayed for but somehwere in life he messed up and continued to until her got caught! At times I feel like I deserve better, i thought I had better but that is not true. I deserve a man that sees me and my precious daughter as his whole world and shows me that we matter. A man that is not afraid to express his love to the world, hold me, looks into my eyes without doubt that I am his and he is mine. Someone who can do family things together no matter the situation. Not someone who disagrees and makes a fight and not someone who yells at everything he does not like. I want someone who see us as US, everything together and is not afraid to be romatic. If he cant be this then I will eventually move on and be happy living my life, i am not afraid to leave with my daughter so we can be happy. I am hanging on to hope to have us work this out and hope we pass throguh this together and i hope i can fall in love with him like i used to, see him pure like i used to. I pray and hope it happens!