Dear No One
2016-04-02 02:22:05 (UTC)

Dear Him & Her

Dear Him and Her,

I don't know where to start. I'm hurting, and you're both the reason. I guess that should be pretty obvious to you two though. Everyone knows. I trusted you two, called you both my friends yet you both turned out to be the disguised enemy. I can't even begin to describe to you the betrayal I felt when She told me that you two slept together. You both knew how I felt about Him. Everyone knew, yet it still became some kind of sick joke between the group of you. A harmless joke. Neither of you were hurt by this so why should it matter. No one was getting hurt in a harmless Tinder hookup. It was two coworkers sleeping together to you guys. That's all it was. Nothing. Trust me when I tell you, it meant so much more than nothing to me.
I don't think you two know what you've done to me. To my confidence. The way I see myself when I look in the mirror. How I think people see me now. Everyone knows about the sex. It's a joke. Everyone talks about it. I can't begin to describe to you two what it feels like to hear about you two over and over again. It's hell. It's like a would being constantly ripped open and vinegar being poured into the wound. I can't count on one hand anymore the time's I've come home from work and sat in my room trying to hold in the tears because I was taught boys aren't worth crying over. How often I sit in the bottom of my tub letting the water mask the fact that I can't stop crying. Lied to my friends and my family that it does't affect me. I used to thing I was a strong person, and that I'd carry on being a strong person, becoming a strong woman. That's clearly not the case anymore. You two have shattered every ounce of confidence and sureness I had in myself and who I am as a person. I second guess everything I do now, because of you. I don't know who to trust anymore, hell I trusted you two, my friends, and you two still disregarded my feelings and slept together. I second guess what I wear, how I act around people, how close I let people get. I'd say that because of you two I built a wall around myself, but thats not true. Walls come down. They crumble. I've completely isolated myself from everyone, from myself.