LustingforNightmares

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2016-03-27 12:02:48 (UTC)

Ah!


"You Fucking People Make Me Sick" by Swans [I like the child's voice singing in the background]

I love you (I love you)
I need you (I need you)

March 27, 2016 Sunday 12:03 PM


Since I try not to go on about myself in real life, I forget that people really don't give a fuck and so it's kind of a shock when someone asks me a question and I go to answer only to realize they're not listening at all.

I feel really sick right now. Probably has something to do with my horrible diet this weekend (spaghetti... pizza... more pizza... toast... ramen... cookies... candy... and I just ate two more cookies for "breakfast").

Liv's at church with my parents. Or, I guess by now church is over so they're out to breakfast.

And we're losing our car insurance because of Caroline's DUI. Yay. Not sure what's happening there, only know that on Friday my mom was freaking out about it.

Someone "favorited" another short story thing I wrote, which was especially nice because I don't think I edited it much.

I've been feeling a weird mixture of depressed and ecstatic this weekend.

Talked to Brennan for the first time since November. He's been depressed. Maybe that's why he didn't answer those first couple times I tried to contact him. Wish I had considered that possibility. I would've tried harder...

He was nice. He said he missed Liv and I, and we were like the sisters he never had.

Oh. Adrian came over on Friday night. Liv wanted his spaghetti and he actually brought it to us hahaha and then he hung around for awhile as we attempted to do homework. It's hard to get work done around him, though. It was still fun. In the end, we were all piled on the couch. Liv asleep at one end, my head sort of in Adrian's lap on the other while he showed me stuff I didn't care about on his phone.

Yesterday, I practiced for the SAT. Had a lot of profound thoughts and was eager to write them down when suddenly, the urge to write vanished and I felt a bit lost.

The thoughts were mostly about other human beings. And about myself. About cynicism. Mostly because I think I'm only 5% person now. Ugh, gross. I have dried cookie dough batter on my Protein Society shirt (okay, so it's my dad's shirt, whatever... I wonder what the Protein Society does)....

I think I would've liked to show Elise this song.

I am going to go now.

Right now, I'm leaning towards depressed... Maybe eating a real breakfast will make me feel better or something. C YA.

PS:

Oops. I was just a bitch to my sister. I'm all agitated 'cause I feel like people always say the same things, like I can fucking predict what stupid questions are going to come out of their mouth and that really sucks.... Sorry Caroline.


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