tovey92

Daily Notes :/
2016-03-19 12:56:34 (UTC)

life is complicated. things which make..

life is complicated. things which make perfect sense in your mind often don't make sense in practice. what you think you know often turns out to be far from the truth.

why do we often spend hours over-thinking something ? you're ready for bed; you feel tired and are looking forward to going to sleep but you can't, why ? usually its a woman right ?

well its been Faye on and off for the last 4/5 years. I think about her a lot which I think is quite sweet. she's a nice girl she deserves some time I suppose. but its not healthy. she knows how I feel about her and we both know there is no us. we've been friends for the last 4/5 years. I keep trying to extend that friendship to outside of work. Because that's what friends do right ? they hang out, go to the pub together, go for a walk or a coffee. Well not in our a friendship.

apparently if I want to go for a walk or a coffee its me making an attempt to come on to her or something. She always says no. I know she is doing this because she thinks its for the best. But its not. Its destroying what we have. I can't carry on this way. I've told her this before. its been a year since and I thought we had got closer and perhaps things would be different. I was wrong. So now I've come to the conclusion that I cannot continue to treat her the way I do. I cannot continue to treat her more favourably than others, I can't spend time listening to her problems, I can't treat her like a friend because she's only willing to treat me like a friend when she's being paid to. Well that's not fair is it ?

so I've concluded I shall treat her just like any other employee and if she notices maybe she will realise what she's lost, maybe she will change and if she doesn't then it is her loss not mine because I've never really had her.




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