Ex's Son in law passed away
So, I found out a few days ago that my Ex's Son-in-law passed away. He had cancer. Not sure what type but he was in a and out of hospitals for years. His brother died from something similar so it ran in the family. Confused thoughts.
He was a nice guy really. Good husband and father. I feel bad though. A long time ago, I told my Ex that her daughter shouldn't be dating him. I said that he has something wrong with him and it's hereditary. I actually played out the most likely scenario and now I feel bad about it.
I wasn't trying to play God. I just said that he is not 100% and that he can pass on his illness to his kids if they have any. Well, fast forward the years and it happened. He passed away and they have two kids. Now, my Ex's daughter is going to be in a financial bind. She has a 4 yr old and I think about a 2 year old girl.
Her Mom is in Nevada so I actually went over to my Ex's daughter's house to pay my respects and to offer any help I could. She lives about 10 min away and I don't know but I'm thinking she is in financial difficulty. I was going to offer her a place to stay till she gets back on her feet and with whatever it is I can help with.
The first time, no one was home so I left. Today,noticed all the toys outside was no longer there. I'm guessing she moved and she moved quickly.
So I never got to offer my help. Mind you, this is the same person that got me in trouble with CPS. At the time, she was in high school. She would not do her homework and she'd just be a typical teenager and was on the phone all night long. So, when she went to school without doing her homework, she made up a story that I shot up the house and that's why she couldn't do her homework.
So of course, CPS intervened and called the cops on me. Cops said they saw no evidence of me shooting up the house and it was obviously a made up story. CPS by telephone told me that I had to leave my house for 2 or 3 weeks. Not sure anymore but I had to live at my friends place and couldn't even go home because of this fake story.
After the time was up, CPS came to meet me and said that they found out the story the my Ex's daughter said was not true at all. No apology was give or said to me.
This is the same Ex's daughter that I put on my medical insurance because she didn't have any and her Father didn't have a job that had insurance. This is the same person that kept using my medical after I divorced my wife at the time and used it to give birth to her first child. They got me good on that because they reversed the medical coverage and charged me with instead for the child bearing costs.
That was over a thirty thousand dollar bill for me.
Still, I went to her place twice to offer my condolences and to say I would help her any way I could and even offer to let her stay at my home till she got back on her feet. I felt sorry for her two daughters and what will become of them. But like I noted, the house looks empty now.
I can only guess that she either moved back with her Dad that hardly works or she too went to Nevada. I dunno. All I know is that I was willing to help. I still feel sorry for her husband's passing but maybe it was faith that I didn't see her the two times I went there to visit. There may be some scars that they caused me and it still stings.
I do know that she and her husband were the ones that helped my Ex move my stuff when they used to pack up, leave, or ransack my home.
I worry about my thoughts and attitude. I worry about what I've become after all these years of mental abuse. I'm strong will and determined but I wonder how I can measure how much damage I've suffered and what kind of a person I am now. I know that I'm not too proud of myself. I know it's been a year since I saw the kids. The ex won't even let them text me, call me, or even email me. She says that this way, the kids won't miss me. I just shake my head when I read shit like that.
I do know that from the Ex's son-in-law passing, I understand that life is even shorter than we thought.I mean, I knew that already and said it to myself and the ex many a times. This is just a big slap in the face reminder that it is indeed very short.
I don't plan on wasting what's left of my life. 2016 pretty much is becoming what I predicted. Nothing exciting, just going with the flow and trying my best to avoid drama. Maybe I can have one nice dream this week. That would be nice :)