theolor

MyDarknessLives
2016-03-13 15:32:42 (UTC)

Emotionless

March 13th, 2016 4:45 PM

Last night I was experimenting with a drug of mine I did research of course, I grounded two pills and snorted them and it didn't burn as bad as people let on and after a while I started feeling pretty good and it made me a little sleepy so when I went to bed I fell asleep near right away and slept in till about 1 today (holy crap) but I slept pretty hard and had an intense dream, I don't remember much of it now but It was a long and intense dream. When I woke up today I don't know if it was linked to what I did last night but I was emotionless, I felt no emotion at all like there was a stone wall separating parts of my brain and heart not letting any emotion pass at all and I love it. What I did next was crush up some more pills and put it in a plastic vile and hid it. If it is true you only live once I say why not-Screw it. That doesn't mean I'm going to be so stupid to try super dangerous drugs like meth and heroin because that stuff really messes you up and not in the good way.

times also changed so that messed things up a little bit, I really cannot wait until the pool opens up in may. Anyway I'm just listening to music as i watch this, My chemical Romance, Green Day, and Fall out Boy. And that song me myself, and I which is good. I love it, "It's just me, myself, and I solo ride until I die cause I got me for life. I don't need anything to get me through the night except that beat that's in my heart yeah it's keeping me alive." At this point honestly I have stopped caring about other people because I am tired of putting everything into a friendship only to be put down and left behind and I am tired of the emotional abuse that I go through with my "friends", that doesn't mean I am ditching them though it's more that I'm not going to sacrifice myself anymore but who knows maybe this is just how I feel now because right now I feel emotionless and strong but who knows when my emotion changes when the drugs wear off who knows. I watched wwe roadblock last night and of course the best Triple H won his match against Dean Ambrose, I have been Triple H's number 1 fan since I was 2 years old and I started watching him. I'm broke now, only like 10 dollars to my name but we will make it.

I forgot to mention, my cat has been sick the past few days and we didn't take her to the vet but mother called and they gave hairball medication and hopefully she can get it out. I have said prayers for her. I can't make it without my baby girl, my kitten. She sounds miserable when she cries and then she throws up. It's not time for her to enter heaven just yet we need her. :'( Please get better Rosie <3 .




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