always wth love

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2016-03-09 09:08:24 (UTC)

Two months ago...just hours in the darkness

Two months ago, something had happened and I didnt know how to feel about this was several weeks before going back to campus in the spring. It was over something very stupid and assuming that took something again. It got very physical sooo damn early in the morning it was situation with my sis friend "aunty" the person who had basically took care of me for many years. She had punch me in the mouth was very bloody. It was burst lips it had took forever to fully heal id stay inside for while so nobody had know would ask questions. It hurt whenever id opened my mouth :( I felt soo damn weak.
6:40-7pm Last night
It had occurred again but it was my totally my fault Id disobey but still didn't needed to get physical with me this time. She had slapped me several times got done yelling at me.I ate alone had a lot id to do last night before 9pm but time gotta way from me (said a very small prayer) didnt go bed until 9:08pm
I woke up, I knew why thou had to studied for my exam for next Thursday but id just looked my clock and closed my eyes. Then woke up again 3:12am, i knew by then i was too tired and my room was very cold i didnt feel like studying so early anyway.... then had woke 4:20am less then five mins before 4:30. So just got up got ready on this long draggy day :(
Two hours ago, I was home re-watching season two of Faking it. It'd remind me of things of church gurl,I really need that.When i was still waiting for my late ride to the campus today grab some snacks. I saw full bottle of vodka, that would be so nice to drink some before i go class today. I would be drunk but it would be worth it, thou. if id courage i would take the bottle and drink it until I felt worthy.
Two friends that i can always talk to is Rachele and "yellow(ish) green eyes"they both know bout J, within hiding my sexuality for now is the best for now.Rachele and I talked heavy bout sex. I'm totally comfortable since two years ago. Ive grown up so much in these rocky six months.