Cheese

Story of a Girl
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2016-03-04 23:59:29 (UTC)

Lullabies

I completely forgot that leap years existed.

Everyone at my school was so excited that there was an extra day in February and there I was, probably the only student at the school who wanted February 29th to be over, ha. Shit man, there's only three-ish months until summer and I'm just trying to wrap up the school year. I'm basically a senior at this point, according to my APUSH teacher. I've already chosen my classes for next year, most of which I'm content with. I better fucking get Forensics next year or else I'm gonna rage because if I had known last year that it would be a class this year, I'd probably be taking it as an elective right now. I'm honestly not too concerned about the amount of AP classes I'll be taking next year; in fact, I'm kind of excited to take them all on. A lot of the kids in my AP classes this year are taking nearly all AP and still manage to go to work, do sports, and get all As. I can do all that too, but I procrastinate too much and it's something I'll never get over, haha. It's basically double the amount I currently take since there's no such thing as AP Forensics or AP Student Aid. But if there was an actual AP test for being a TA, I'd probably pass. I've got experience washing dishes in the restroom sink, filling up jugs, and making several paper copies. That's enough to get me a five, right? I'm just really excited about next year. I finally have a fair amount of classes that I'd like to take, and even though my schedule isn't set in stone, I'm fairly likely to get the classes that I want. Ah, I can't wait. I'm one step closer to senior year... I'm excited, but also a little anxious. So, we had to take the ACT test on Tuesday and it was just something I've been dreading for the past two weeks but I'm glad it's over with. I told myself I'd be taking it again next year but after spending my entire day at school, I highly doubt I'll be wanting to go through the entire process again. Honestly, the whole four tests plus the essay weren't too terrible. Not fun, but not bad. I'm pretty sure I killed the English and Reading tests (in a good way, ofc) and I most likely failed the Math and Science tests. The English test was the only one I finished early--three minutes and twenty two seconds early. It was mostly just grammar stuff and grammar is something I'm a bit better than decent at. Maybe it's because English isn't my first language (even though I grew up speaking it. Am I just making excuses?), but I obviously don't have great grammar when it comes to free writing like this. I tend to write the way I would speak in person, but when it comes to formal essays and shit, I have to clean up my writing, obviously. English has always been my better subject. I was running out of time on the math test so I guessed (on like 90% of them) and I guessed all of the science ones, too. The math portion had some geometry questions that I MIGHT have been able to answer correctly had I remembered what I learned last year. The only thing I could recall was SohCahToa. On the science test, I was hoping there would be a few physics questions because I didn't remember anything from chemistry or biology and there were one or two questions but nothing I had ever learned about. So, to guessing it was. I actually tried on the Reading one, but the passages were boring me to death so I skimmed through and tried to answer the questions as fast as possible. I almost ran out of time; I had like thirty-ish seconds left. The essay was probably the easiest part of the entire ACT test. It was also one of the easiest essay topics I've ever had in high school. We had forty minutes to plan out the essay but I only used thirty minutes to actually write my five paragraphs... which I think is weird because whenever I'm working on the AP Practice tests in my class, I use up all fifty minutes and STILL don't finish on time. Even then, I already know what I'm looking for so I don't need to spend time plan anything out. Then again, the ACT essay didn't require me to take time reading anything since everything was basically spoon fed to me. But yeah, the testing wasn't terrible. The only "bad" thing about having to take the test was that I had to stay on campus for the entire day. Even after all the testing, my APUSH teacher also decided to hold a review session. So, I would have to spend an extra hour after school and find a way to kill two hours without using my phone. We had a late start to the test because three kids were running late and we couldn't start without them. Two of them showed up a while later and our proctor asked us if we all agreed that the last kid wasn't going to show up so we could all start--yup, he was a no show. We finished at about 12PM and after our booklets were collected, we were dismissed to go eat lunch. Our proctor had said that if we all behaved and didn't get too rowdy, the admins would probably allow us to stay in the cafeteria for the remainder of the day. I hung out with Guy and Yaline, since we were all in the same testing room. The testing room was made up entirely of other students from my second period so it wasn't like I was sitting in a room full of strangers. Lucky for me, Yaline and Guy share a similar last name to mine so we were all seated closely. Yaline ended up in the row beside mine, sitting next to Guy, and Guy was seated behind me. On our way down to the cafeteria, we witnessed someone trying to leave campus so it was pretty entertaining to see three administrators running through campus to catch the kids who were trying to leave... which then cleared the area for a group of girls to leave campus. HA. When we finally reached the cafeteria, I saw the school police chilling on their bikes... the ONE time they could've been useful is the one time they decide to chill on their bikes. So, lunch was interesting but really boring. We actually met up with one of Yaline's friends, who then brought another friend but they disappeared after a while. Zach and Renett eventually met up with us at a table and we all sat down to eat... except Zach and I were the only ones eating. Guy was too busy shoving his tongue down Renett's throat and Yaline's boyfriend was gropping her whenever he could place his hands on. Zach and I kept telling both couples to stop being gross but ugh, I was trying to enjoy my ranchless carrots without having to hear a bunch of lip smacking and giggling. I kept yelling out "Stop reminding me that my boyfriend isn't here" and Zach was like "Can y'all stop reminding me that I'm single?" It definitely sucked being the third wheel. It wasn't so bad, though, since Zach was third wheeling with me. BUT UGH. It was seriously so gross because I couldn't even look to my right or left or I'd see Yaline's boyfriend smacking her ass or Renett strandling Guy in his seat. I had to either look down at my food, which really hurt my neck because I had been looking down at my tests for like four hours, or I could look straight ahead. This one kid from freshman year who asked for nudes was sitting at the table in front of ours so I definitely wasn't going to look straight... It was awkward. Zach and I decided to have our own little fun by playing a very ugly game that he calls Baby Making. Basically, we pair each other with a random student passing by and imagine what our babies would look like. It's a really stupid game but hey, it killed time and that's exactly what we wanted. As it turned out, I'd probably have really attractive kids if I ever married the soccer player with the long hair and Zach would have cute little filipino babies if he ever married that one girl from my algebra class. Things were pretty decent until Zach decided to ruin things by purposely pairing me with a kid from my english class--the small asian kid that was in my group first semester, first quarter. The one who took a joke too far when we both google searched our teacher for the fun of it. The one that I thought hated me? That guy. His name is Kai and I'm pretty sure he still hates me--he just gives me this really serious look whenever I'm around. Zach thinks that Kai might have a secret tiny little crush on me because his "guy senses tingle." The only reason he thinks this is because he's really quiet around me and always happens to sit where I'm in his line of sight, but I call bullshit. Like, the kid has been sitting next to me at all our AP review sessions even when there are other available seats so this apparently "confirms" Zach's suspicions. I don't know what he's thinking, but Zach is fucking stupid. So I brought up Kai because Zach was making fun of his height and then my height and that made me feel bad. Kai is shorter than me and Zach said we'd probably have really short kids with dark hair and it's seriously nothing to be upset about, but I don't know, it made me feel bad. I remember Kai telling me that he lived up to a lot of the asian stereotypes and wanting to be taller like the rest of the guys at our school. I dunno, Zach's comment about us having small children made me feel a bit bad. It wasn't long after that the admins deemed us all "rowdy" and sent us back to our testing rooms. My little group of friends were among the last group of people that left the cafeteria. Once I was back in my testing room, I sat at my assigned seat and sketched a little bit on my phone. Eventually, Zach came in yelling "GROJ SALE" in my ear as he sat beside me. I showed him this *hilariously* stupid video from the Get A Dictionary series on youtube about people who don't know how to English and towards the middle of the video, there's this photo that says "groj sale" and he just found it ridiculously funny. I found it even more hilarious but my favorite part of the video was the facebook status that was like "y is it raining in my house i think" Shit had me dyiiiiing. Anyway, whenever he walks into a room, he'll yell out "GROJ SALE" and I'll shake my head. Renett eventually came into our room, since everyone was visiting their friends in different classrooms, so she joined Guy in the back corner while Zach and I listened to his playlist. The day eventually came to an end, kind of. We still had the APUSH review session at the end of the school day so I walked over to my classroom (literally right next door) and was surprised to see Matt sitting at the other end of the room. I wanted to get there first but I guess he beat me to it.I sat where I usually sit and then Kai sat in the seat beside mine, like always. Zach sat in the seat to my left and kicked my feet because he wanted to make sure I knew he was right about his suspicions... which he's NOT. Like, I seriously need someone to back me up on this. I'm like 99% sure Kai avoids me because he doesn't like me. Although, it could be a coincidence that I always happen to catch him looking in my general direction. Guy came in a minute later, now with his baseball gear on, complaining to us about how baseball practice would be from three to six. "I'm spending my entire day at school, fuck my life." The session started... aaaaaaand we were literally the only kids there. Just the five of us. It was kind of weird for me--being the only girl in the empty classroom. Christian and two of his guy friends eventually came into the classroom but even with the eight of us, the room was still mainly empty. My teacher then dismissed us after only half an hour-ish. "Alright you guys, I'm gonna wrap this up. You guys are all completely clocked out." YES. Like, the test wasn't what made me tired. I was tired of not doing anything AFTER the test. I was bored, and I was sleepy, but not because of the test. I walked out immediately and by the time I got to my mom's car, it was 2:45PM. She was surprised to see me arrive so early and once I was seated, we made our way home. She had a misa to go to so she left us home with just my baby sister... probably the worst decision she's made. My little sister has been extremely moody for about a week now and she's been crying for no reason. It was a huge pain in the ass to watch over her, especially when she would take her clothes off or start crying if I wanted to feed her. At one point, I was trying to eat dinner and when I walked back into my room, my sister had dropped baby formula all over the living room and hallway. She had taken off her clothes yet again and sprayed water all over the floor... exactly what I deserve for having taken my eyes off of her. I told myself I'd be keeping track of the days and amount of time my mom would leave me home alone with the kids and I have. She left at 6:08PM and didn't come home until 11:57PM. "It'll only be two to three hours," she said. I was obviously pissed that she was gone for so long... and on a school night, too. She complained to me that I'm always asleep by the time she comes home but does she forget that I have school the next day? Does she forget that my sisters don't have to wake up at five in the morning? Does she not know that they don't have any problems sleeping but I do? Because I haven't been able to sleep for months now but that's obviously no concern for her.

I'm not even trying to rant at this point. I'm pretty relaxed and tired right now and getting upset over something that happened two days ago isn't going to do me any good.

So, skipping forward to Wednesday. Just like my proctor had said, my brain would be completely fried. For whatever reason, I woke up with a really bad headache but my brain felt slow. I was having trouble staying concentrated and I guess I was just mentally exhausted. It could have been that I didn't sleep well, either. Fortunately, none of my classes were too difficult for the day. Same old same old for all my first four periods. Oh, actually, fourth period. Saul was telling me that Finding Dory was being released this year in June and said, "Hey, we need to go watch it!" I just smiled and nodded since I was trying to focus on the class work but then it hit me like two minutes later. "We?" We, as in who? Me? Me and Perla? I didn't know our friendship had already reached the "hanging out after school" milestone. Although, if he's serious about the movie invitation, I'd be down to go. Besides, he's a senior. It'd be my last time seeing him, ever, so why not? We had a substitute for English, but we also had to start the thesis outline for the essay our teacher failed to inform us about... I spent the majority of the class period playing Bullshit with the kid who never does anything (Zeke), Christian, the quiet girl (Grace), and Guy. I was actually pretty close to winning but Christian started calling bullshit on my cards towards the end of the game when I had the least amount of cards. Grace won, but I would've won had freaking Christian not said anything. Zeke had half the deck by the time we finished playing and Guy kept looking at my cards but never called me out. Good guy Guy. Haha. I'm adding that to my list of reasons why he's my best best best best friend. Yesterday wasn't much different. We started going over logarithms in algebra and it's pretty easy, kind of. APUSH was kind of like English on Wednesday. We had a substitute for APUSH but none of us were actually doing the work. The "popular" side of the classroom were talking about a bunch of sex rumors and my side of the class was busy using the snapchat filters. It was kinda interesting, though, since Guy was telling us a funny story about his cousin. I honestly don't even know how it came up in the conversation, but all I heard was, "I had a cousin from Mexico who was arrested here in 'Murica. They released him by accident so he fled to Mexico and now he has a barber shop. True story." so I blurted out, "How does law enforcement accidentally release someone?" so Yaline started laughing with this "wtf" look on her face but Guy was like, "I think there was probably someone else with the same name. He gives great haircuts, by the way." So I guess I learned something new yesterday. OH. For physics, we actually got a new student on Wednesday to replace the old kid who left for Chicago--great timing! I don't remember his name (he never introduced himself, to be fair) but he's from Wisconsin and I might have secretly checked his schedule but he's a sophomore... impressive. When he said he was from Wisconsin, I yelled out "THAT 70'S SHOW" and my teacher was like, "I love that show!" I finished watching all eight seasons about two weeks ago and I'm still internally crying forever. Anyway, the new kid is really excited to be in the class and Christian and I laughed when we saw how happy he was. AHAHA, not for long. Let him spend a few more weeks in this class... then we'll see if he's still eager to be in the class. He'll be pretty thankful that he joined our class at the end of the semester instead of having had physics for the entire year like the rest of the class. Well, before my teacher even explained the course to the new kid, my teacher said, "Wow, the classroom is empty" and then Guy muttered "just like me" and then Rodrigo was like "SAME". Physics can be so sad sometimes. To be fair, physics has made us all empty inside... It comes with taking the class. So I saw Christian yesterday playing a game and I asked, "Is that Clash of Clans?" He got really cranky and said, "NO, THIS IS CLASH OF ROYALES. PRETTY BIG DIFFERENCE." so then the three kids behind me started going "did she really just ask that?" "How does she not know the difference?" "Dude, that got me fired up." What a bunch of nerds. I looked up "clash of" on google and so many fucking games came up... holy fuck, man. Excuuuuuuse me for not knowing the difference? Then they all started playing against each other and basically I sit with a bunch of geeks. Fourth period, we read a really boring story called La Camisa de Margarita or something like that and my teacher wanted us to reenact it. In groups of four, we would have to act out the story however we wanted but we only had the one class period to write a script and practice. I seriously doubt anyone finished writing out the script, let alone had the chance to practice. Saul immediately chose our group, consisting of me, him, Perla, and Perla's partner from that one partner project in early February. Because Saul is the only guy in the group, he decided we could do like a gender-bent reenactment. The original story consists of Margarita (the only girl), Margarita's father don Raimundo, Margarita's lover don Luis, and Luis' uncle, don Honorato. One girl, three guys and my group had one GUY and three girls... Saul would be playing "Margarito." Then he looked at me and said, "Oh, and you can be the girl version of Luis." but I immediately retaliated with, "Why do I have to be Luis?" and then Perla's partner said she'd be Luis, or Luisa, in our version. I honestly wouldn't have minded but in the original story, Luis falls in love with Margarita and they get married. I opted out of playing "Luisa" so I could avoid having to marry "Margarito." Saul would never let me live it down--me "proposing" to him. I mean, as soon as he said I would be playing Luisa, he started making all these "mami" and "papi" jokes and ugh. Maybe that was him trying to be slick, thinking I wouldn't notice? He touches me enough as it is and it weirds me out, so I definitely don't want to be having to get down on one knee and holding his hand. I hate being touched. We only had the class period to write the script and we were nowhere near being finished. We had spent most of the time trying to start the scene and we had to incorporate vocab words into our script, which was probably the hardest part. At the end of the class, Saul was on board with finishing the script at home himself... I had my doubts, but Saul really pulled through today. Today was the day of our presentations and he came in with a complete script so the first half hour-ish of class was spent with our entire group trying to copy down the master script onto our own pages. Antonio's group went up first and all my teacher had to say was: "that was borderline not school appropriate!" HA. I thought it was pretty okay. I could tell that my teacher really wanted our group to go up first since she kept passing by and asking if we were finished. After Antonio's group, she called Saul up to go present so the four of us went up. The first scene was fucking hilarious because the scene started off with "Luisa" flirting with "Margarito." She was like "so, do you have a girlfriend?" and he was like, "depends on who's asking" and the class started going "ooooh damn" and it was pretty funny. So then at the scene where Margarito "dies", we had him get sick instead of dying. Saul was on the floor acting like he was having a seizure and crying about his one love "Luisa" as Bruno Mars "It Will Rain" played in the background. I had to play the doctor at that scene because we didn't have any other people and I had to give Margarito medicine but some guys in the audience were like, "yo doctor, where yo medicine at?" We had to read out stage directions out loud too since we obviously didn't plan things out very well and ugh. Our whole reenactment was fucking terrible... in a good way. We were laughing the entire time and so was the class, especially at the part where Margarito got sick and I know that it was a terribly funny performance because a stupid grin forms on my face when I think about the play. My teacher gave us extra credit for incorporating music and explaining the story well. When we read the original story, no one noticed the part where Margarita dies so my teacher liked that we had Margarito fall ill instead of dying. But really, I hope my teacher doesn't expect any decent presentations from anyone else. For starters, she let us choose our groups and when we're given that opportunity, we never get work done. And two, she only gave us about half an hour to write a script and practice it. My group consists of students who do their work (besides Saul, ofc) and even we didn't get the chance to finish. The people who are left to present are the people who never get work done, and they weren't even ready to present today so I doubt they'll be ready to present next week. Monday is going to be a train wreck.

We had another substitute for English yesterday and we were in the computer lab typing up our rough drafts but I only started my first paragraph. For once, writing my intro was the easiest part of writing because I had no idea how to write the second paragraph. My teacher was back again today. She chipped her tooth in our class like last week and Yaline said she was recovering from all that. Today was an easy day, I think. Next week is the end of the quarter so grades are due and all our teachers are rushing us with assignments, for example, my teacher and the essay. We went over the schedule for next week and then she briefly gave us an explanation of the essay and how we were making it harder on ourselves. So, a looooong time ago, she told us we would be having a multimedia project at the end of the unit--this is it. My teacher didn't go into detail about it today (she's doing that next Monday or Tuesday), but she said we would be choosing our own partners. We could work in groups of two to four/five and I immediately locked eyes with Maya. She gave me this huge grin and I gave her a thumbs up, so I think it's safe to say that we'll be working together. Good. I want a partner who I can count on. Chances are, Kai might be joining our group too since Maya is one of the few people he talks to in our class, but he might also join the skater guys. I hope he does because I really don't want Zach being on my case about this nonexistent crush. My teacher said we would need to use at least two different forms of media and I immediately thought of painting a poster. Our unit this quarter deals with individuality and how we are individuals in society. I immediately thought of instagram for whatever reason. But, BUT, I've got this planned out: instagram is a social network where you can post images. Photos are a form of media. It works, right? I thought that I maybe I could buy a poster board and make it look like the instagram screen with an image--simplicity. Simplicity is the theme of one of our readings from earlier in the quarter. I thought about drawing the back of two people sitting on a bench on a cliff, looking into the sunset. I don't know why it was that image that came to mind, but it makes me feel like life is easy--simple. Yay or nay? I'll have to wait and tell Maya to get her opinion on it. I know that Guy already started working on his project because he's using animation as one of his medias; I voiced one of the characters for his project. Also, me and a bunch of other friends had to dance and act for his other media. I'm hoping that maybe he can help out with our project? I'm actually pretty pumped for this project. For once, we get to choose our partners and I'm seriously hoping my teacher doesn't take that back. I know I was dreading this project for several weeks but the unit is a lot easier than the one we had before. I really like the unit and if Maya and I pair up, I know that, without a doubt, we will be making a lot of progress. A lot of the kids in our class like to get their own way when it comes to projects and because we can't cooperate and actually put in equal effort, we never get anything done but Maya wants to get a good grade and so do I, so we will definitely work with each other's ideas to make a great presentation that will earn us both As. OH, and also! Since this is the end of the unit, we're going to start our next unit and I'm super excited. My teacher said today, "The week after next week, we'll be starting our last unit for the year, the American Dream, and we'll begin The Great Gatsby." and literally like 90% of the girls in the class went "AWWWWW, YES!", myself included. I've been DYING to read the novel and watch the movie! I hope we read the book entirely and not skip any chapters or anything... actually, I'm probably going to end up reading the entire thing if we're allowed to take our copy home. School is going to be great these last three months... I might genuinely miss my AP class. Sooo, student aid hasn't been bad. My teacher has been working on a "coffee bar," inspired by my class specifically. A lot of the kids in the class like to dig through his mini fridge and eat his apples or drink his sodas, so he started charging them a dollar for everything they take. Since then, he decided to unofficially host a coffee bar by buying all these goodies and selling them to his students. Yesterday, he told me that I was allowed to grab whatever I wanted without having to pay because I'm his "perfect assistant." I told him "I try, mister" and he laughed. That made me feel really good about myself because I always thought that he didn't like me. Anyway, I can get free snacks as long as I tell him so he can take note of it. Yessss for free food! He wasn't hear today since he was working with the magnet students so we head a substitute today. She was meh. The school day eventually came to an end and my dad came to pick Zachary and I from school pretty early. We made a quick stop at the store and then came home. After picking up the girls from school, we ate tacos and Stephen decided to stop by. I haven't spoken to him in like a month so it was really nice to see him again. My dad invited him to sit down to eat with us and we all ate about four tacos. My dad decided to take a nap so while he did that, I started washing dishes. I didn't hear his footsteps at all but he whispered "could you possibly wear smaller shorts?" into my ear and it creeped me the fuck out. He's probably the only person, besides Antonio, who can creep me out. He said he'd wait for me in my room until I finished washing the dishes but the by time I had gotten to my room, I had found him completely knocked out on my bed. I didn't have the heart to wake him up so I let him sleep and began watching the next episode of Gossip Girl. I accidentally spoiled myself by going onto the wiki for the show like a week ago because I was trying to look up the relationship between two of the characters and now I know who Gossip Girl is and FUCK. Ever since that day, I've been trying to piece everything together and I still don't understand why this character could possibly be GG? And also, let me just say that Chuck and Nate are soooooooooo, so hot, even though Nate is basically a gigolo at the start of season two. This wasn't my intention at all but sometime before my dad left for work, I ended up falling asleep. I guess I must've been really tired because I normally don't take naps in the day. By the time I woke up, it was 6:42PM and Stephen was still sleeping at the other end of the bed. His phone started going off like crazy so I started shaking him to wake him up. I handed him his phone and was pretty effing surprised when he said "oh hey Aly what's going on?" Ooooh shit. I'm honestly really glad that I convinced him to give her a second chance since she obviously really cares about him and I felt like I was the one who caused their breakup. Even now, she still thinks I'm some kind of threat? I'm already dating an idiot, I most definitely don't pose a threat to her.

Speaking of this idiot... He's a fucking idiot. I'm not mad at him anymore but ugh, I just want him to stop getting into all these stupid fights. I've been ignoring him for like a week or two now; probably the longest I've ever ignored him for. Well, I'm not technically ignoring him if I'm still replying to his messages, right? I broke the silence a week ago when I was watching the pilot episode of Fuller House and in the beginning with the credits, one of the child actors was Elias Harger so I texted him saying "HEY UR NAME IS ON TV" and he replied with, "oh, so you're not mad at me now?" and that was basically him asking for me to continue ignoring him. It was a stupid fight and nothing for me to be upset about but he's just so... ugh. He's going to get seriously injured one day and I don't want to be waiting at the hospital to hear if he died or not. I'm just being really childish in this entire situation by ignoring him, I know, I know. If I'm being honest, I saw the blood stains on his t-shirt and that seriously scared me. It was fear which then turned into anger but I stopped being angry like two days after I found out what happened. I'm just hoping he didn't actually kill the guy he was fighting--I mean, he's already had a few people hospitalized, DShaun included. Anyway, Stephen eventually hung up on Aly and then, still pretty groggy, asked me why I didn't bother to wake him up. I told him I didn't want to wake him up and then I ended up falling asleep too. He was like "well just wake me up next time, okay? I don't want any problems with your lunatic dude friend" so I was like "same with Aly" and then we watched about an episode or two of Futurama, which I'm also binge watching. I finished watching season one and two freshman year but I decided I'd watch all the episodes again. We ate some of the tostitos and nacho dip that I bought at school today and that was about it. We were finishing up an episode when I began reading all of Elias's cheesy text messages, all asking for forgiveness. I just wanted to torture him a little bit and now I feel kind of bad--and childish. Definitely childish. A lot of the text messages he sent were a bunch of lovey dovey song lyrics, the majority of songs that I recognized. Sum 41, Daughtry, Lifehouse, Bruno Mars, Plain White T's and sooo many more but the one that really won me over was the lyrics from the Maná song featuring Shakira, "Mi Verdad." My favorite part of the song is at the end where it goes "tú eres la luz que me guía, tú eres la voz que me calma, tú eres la lluvia de mi alma, y eres toda mi verdad" and that was the exact message he had sent. I'm like "biiiiiitch, stop" so Stephen was like "what? Why are you smiling?" Elías is sooooo cheesy, I swear... but that's why I love him. He also left me a bunch of voice messages of him singing "Talking to the Moon" and whyyyyy is he so adorable? Once I was done grinning at his bad singing, I went over to his bedroom to call him. Needless to say, he was pretty happy I called. I was like "um hi" and he was like "Oh my god hearing your voice made my entire night" and we had a pretty good conversation. I apologized for being so childish and he apologized for being reckless and we're back on good terms now! Stephen showed up at the door a while later with his jacket over his shoulder so I put El on hold while I spoke to Steph for a quick minute. He said he was leaving since Aly was going to stop by and then he said he had a very nice time sleeping in my bed and then he winked. I rolled my eyes and started making gagging sounds so he laughed and said I haven't changed at all. Before leaving, he decided to step into the room but I told him not to touch anything--he never listens to me. He took a minute to look around the room and then he smirked at me and said, "You guys probably did it in the closet, probably on that carpet, the desk... and most definitely the bed." That's when I yelled "GET OUT" and Lizzy yelled back from the other room, "I'M TRYING TO SLEEP." So, I walked him down to his car and he was like, "Today was fun, even though we fell asleep. I'll see ya next week, Twinklebutt." so then I yelled out "GOD DAMN IT" and he was like "IT SPARKLES" and then he drove off and I continued my little phone call. I seriously thought that Stephen forgot about the Twinklebutt nickname... I guess he's still attempting to revive old nicknames. Anyway, I told El about Stephen falling asleep and I thought he'd be really upset but he said he was just happy that I was even talking to him. And that's why honesty is why we've been together for so long. He wasn't super upset; it was more like "as long as he wasn't feeling you up, it's fine by me." Yeah, that wasn't the case so I'm glad he didn't like buy a plane ticket to kick his ass. I guess I should've said something earlier, but I was actually sleeping in El's sweater. When he came to visit for Valentine's, he had brought his UCLA sweater and I might have "borrowed" it the night before he left. I'll give it back to him eventually, I think, but I love wearing it. Not because it's big on me, but because it smells like him. When I'm falling asleep, I can "smell" him and it puts a smile on my face. Totally not creepy, right? We were actually still talking over the phone when I went on facebook for the first time in forever and saw that he had posted a status not too long ago. He was like, "I have over fifty sweaters so why are over half of them are missing?" so there was like a flock of girls commenting on his status, most of them just joking about taking their boyfriends' clothes. One of the girls, whose ass I'm about to kick, posted something along the lines of "i'd love to have one of your sweaters to sleep in. no bf:(" so I took a *super cute* mirror selfie of the UCLA sweater I was wearing and posted it in the comments with the caption "me" and then the crown emoji. One of his guy friends that I remember from freshman year was like "OH SHIT CAT FIGHT" with like ten laughing emojis. It took about ten minutes for El to notice the comment because he later told me he loved when I wore his sweaters. To be honest, my closet is full with all his sweaters. My dad sometimes gives me his sweatpants when they don't fit or if he doesn't like them and I never turn down free clothes so when Elías "gives me the sweaters he doesn't like," it's no big deal and nothing for my dad to be suspicions of. If he finds a bunch of El's clothes in my laundry bin, he knows that I just use them for PJs and it's nothing to question for me. I'm pretty sure El has a sweater for every day of the year so it's no big deal if I "borrow" a sweater or two or five. I'm actually surprised he actually noticed, aha. He said he'd buy me one so we could match... a second college sweater? Yes, I'd love one!

Apart from all the cliché "I missed your voice" and all our other lovey dovey talk, we've been talking about a friend who has been talking shit about me for a while now. His best friend Christopher started dating this one girl named Kimberly since November 2013, so my freshman year. I first met Chris in 8th grade and when he started dating Kimberly, he was a sophomore, I think but he claims he's been dating her since freshman year? Basically, no one knows when they started dating but November 2013 is a huge anniversary date of some sort. Okay but anyway, I recently found out that Christopher had proposed to Kimberly a couple of months ago... Wow. Barely 18 to 19, not even a year after their high school graduation, and they're already getting married. I'm not judging, though. If they feel that strongly about each other, good for them! This just shows that I don't share the same mentality as them. When I first met Kimberly, we weren't like best friends but we got along very well. Like, if our boyfriends were hanging out, we had no problem hanging out together as well and stuff. She's a really nice girl, Chris is a really nice guy, and I'm happy for them. However, my problem doesn't have anything to do with their relationship at all--my problem is with Kimberly. It's no secret that Kimberly has helped Christopher overcome his old drug habits, and it's also no secret that they're both super religious now. I don't know Chris enough to call him a friend, maybe less of an acquaintance, but I know more about him than I'd like to know. He's a fuckboy (was?) and he should know that he can't keep everything secret. Anyway, when I first met Chris, there was no such thing as going to church. He was never religious until he started changing himself for Kim and that's when he decided he'd accompany her and her parents to church every Sunday night. He started dressing more appropriately, stopped selling and using drugs, and he became a better person for Kim, even though he still smokes weed but it's not as bad as it was before he started dating her. I've never said it directly to her, but I admire her for actually changing a fuckboy. Way back in December, I overheard a conversation between Chris's best friend and El. All I heard was that there wasn't any action going on between them, meaning that Kimberly was planning to keep her virginity for a while. I don't even know if it counts as overhearing because I was in the room while they were speaking, but I'll admit that I chuckled a bit. I mean, Chris is Chris. Is Kimberly aware of the things he did before they met? It's a good thing the guys didn't hear me. Anyway, while I admire that Kimberly is staying abstinent, it bothers me that she suddenly can't be my friend because I didn't stay abstinent like her? Like, I'm sorry that we're not as religious as you? I'm sorry that premarital sex isn't a big deal to us? I actually found out through one of her friends a while ago but she was actually talking shit about Elías. She thought he had pressured me into it and didn't understand why I was okay with the idea of premarital sex--was this maybe a sign that she still wanted to be my friend, by thinking I was the victim? First off, he never pressured me into having sex with him. It was MY choice and though I don't have any regrets, I do wish I would have waited a little longer. If anything, it was the other way around. It's obvious that he's more religious than I am but not as religious as Kimberly; I asked if we could do it and he was a bit hesitant at first because he also wanted to wait but it wasn't like I forced him to go along with it. Plus, it kind of happened in the spur of the moment. Things happen, life happens, we can't go back in time to change the past. So, that was a long time ago. At the time, I didn't notice her behaving differently around me, though she did ask a bit more personal questions about the subject. I guess I was stupid enough to share things with her. Her friend continued sending me more screenshots of the conversation (none of which I asked for) and when Kim found out that we continued to fool around instead of stopping, she got pissed. She started accusing me of making Elías "less religious" than he was before because he liked fooling around with me. Like I said, I didn't force him into it. I don't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do and he doesn't force me to do anything I don't want to do. He even said it himself, he's glad he didn't wait. It wasn't long after that she started calling me out for a slut through instagram, facebook, and all the other sites I had her added on. She never used my name, obviously, but I knew who she was referring to. I knew she was religious and I KNEW she'd probably be upset so I never bothered sharing that kind of information with her. Besides, the things we do behind closed doors aren't relevant to her. She went on with this whole slut tantrum for a few months before calming down and hiding back in the shadows where she lives in. It's only been recent that she found out about Jazzi's pregnancy and has started attacking Jazzminia and once again, she's back to calling me out for a slut. "Won't be long before you're pregnant too :)" I don't understand how this makes me a slut? Elías was my first and the ONLY person who I've ever been intimate with. Why is she calling me a slut when I'm being intimate with the guy I'm currently dating? It's not like I'm fucking all my guy friends or anything. I haven't had an accidental pregnancy and we both take extreme precautions... sooooo, why is our sex life such a big deal to her? No, why is she even sticking her nose in our sex life to begin with? Is she even aware of how many girls Christopher slept with BEFORE she started dating him? He's a fucking man whore! The guy has THREE kids with three different girls! But I'M the slut? Of course, because Chris goes to church with her, she thinks he's so pure and innocent and would never hurt a fly. He's changed, I won't deny that, but he is not the innocent guy she thinks he is. I'm not even mad, seriously. I'm just irritated that she'd call me out for being a slut when her own boyfriend has kids he hasn't told her about. And I know that she doesn't know about the kids because Chris's best friend mentioned one of the kids and she looked utterly confused. But now that I think about it... Yeah, I'm fucking mad. You don't just attack my friend for being pregnant and not expect me to say something about it. "Accidents happen but that's why you keep your legs closed." NAH. Nah. I'm fucking heated. You don't attack my boyfriend or my best friend without expecting an ass kicking. I'll jump her, seriously. Why does she even think that any of this is okay? At least Jazzi has a very supportive boyfriend who WANTS to be involved in the baby's life. Kimberly can attack me all she wants, it seriously doesn't bother me, but she's not going to attack my friends and get away with it. And this is all because she believes in abstinence. Fuck you, Kimberly. You're allowed to have your opinions--I'm a slut for not waiting until marriage, that's fine. But publicly attacking us isn't okay. I'm still surprised that she's not aware of me not being religious. I've made it obvious that I don't necessarily believe in a god or many gods. I would've thought that she'd be a bit more understanding but I guess not.

Teenage drama is interesting, isn't it? My dad arrived at just the perfect time. He came home with food and called me out to eat dinner. I didn't have that big of an appetite so I grabbed a small bowl to eat a light dinner. When he came out of the restroom, he began the criticizing. "Why are you eating from that bowl?" "That bowl is for kids." and the infamous head shake and sigh. Isn't he the one always calling me a little kid because I'm not 18? Why is my bowl choice a big deal? So, I went into my room to grab my juice and my dad was telling me to eat in the kitchen... where I was already planning to eat. He looked at my juice and said, "that's not your juice." so I said, "Briana gave it to me." So then he sighed again and said, "You're always taking things from other people..." What???? She GAVE it to me. I asked if it was hers and she asked if I wanted it because she didn't like it. My dad is constantly complaining about us not eating because the food goes to waste and then he goes on and on about kids in Africa, kids without homes, and all those lectures. If I hadn't asked, Briana would've left the juice in the fridge and it would've gone to waste. My dad hates when food goes to waste so I technically did him a favor. Then he said I served myself too much and said, "it's like you've never eaten before." Wasn't he the one forcing me to eat more than I could handle earlier in the day with the tacos? Another reason why I can't stand my dad. When will I ever reach a happy medium with my dad? It's like nothing I do matters because he always has something to say about me. If I don't eat, he'll force me to eat. If I eat, he'll say that I eat too much. Where can I find a happy middle? I was already upset talking about Kimberly and my dad just made things even worse. Of course, I was talking to a very special someone and he knows exactly what to do to make me feel better.

It's midnight now and I'm nowhere near being tired. I've been talking to Elías for about three-ish hours now? I should've apologized days ago. I really missed talking to him. Everyone else is asleep now so I can finally say cute and cheesy things without having to worry about my anyone eavesdropping. I told him I loved him and he was like, "You can't see it but I have a really stupid smile on my face." Me, too. Then he said he loved me more. Spring break is only two weeks away. Two more weeks and I can finally see him and kiss him and hold him again. I'm listening to Young and Beautiful and it's seriously put me in a good mood. Two more weeks until I see Elías AND start reading the Great Gatsby! Something tells me that fourth quarter will be a great end to the school year. Just one step closer to senior year, ah. Lullabies is also a great song. It's been one of my favorites since 2012... so peaceful. Like lullabies you are, forever in my life. I'll be sleeping in his sweater tonight.


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