✯Sincerely, Me✯
☯LivingWithMyself☯
The Unexpected
Dear Josh,
I don't know where to start.
I said I was going to rock the single life for awhile,
Take the time to focus on other things...
But I never expected to meet you.
I'll admit that sometimes I get so afraid...
That I want to call everything off..
And believe me, it's not because I want to leave...
That's not it at all...
I'm just so afraid to get invested again,
I want to tell you everything..
I want to open up... I want to share myself...
I want to connect with you...
I'm bombarded with thoughts and worries..
That what if I'm not ready...
I want to be a good lover....
I want to make you happy,
but what if I can't?
What if I become a massive bitch...
What if I cheat on you, lie to you, leave you?
What if I hurt you?
I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.
I want to be a better person.
I didn't have the time I intended to spend rocking the single life to work on myself...
I feel like that's important.
I wasn't ready for you to walk into my life...
That's why it's such a mess right now..
That's why I'm such a mess right now.
I've only known love one other time in my life...
And I can't help but compare it side by side....
I want to believe everything you say...
His words were able to pierce my defenses, and pull me out of darkness,
and I want yours to do the same....
But I know it'll only happen in it's own time.
I'm sorry I'm so paranoid.
I'm sorry I'm such a mess.
I just want this to work.
I don't want anything to mess it up.
I know it's working...
Remember what I said about having to ease into being in a relationship?
I'm torn between wanting to be in one with you...
but at the same time not wanting to be tied down....
Please bear with me...
I'm doing the best that I can with what I have.
You're so amazing,
And I don't know what I did to deserve you...
I don't know why we met...
I don't know what's going to happen between us..
or where this will lead....
But I'm definitely willing to find out...
A step at a time.
Sincerely,
Me
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