theolor

MyDarknessLives
2016-02-24 18:53:05 (UTC)

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7:00 PM 02/24/16

I figure it's time I come back and write an entry. Step father moved out today and mother and I are really ecstatic about it, he left some of his stuff here including his large TV and TV stand now he is living with his daughter until he finds his own place. Now his kids have to deal with that septic tank of a man, I feel bad for his daughters kids because there might not be any food after this large disgusting pigsty moves in and eats all their food. The other day I was going to smoke a cig but couldn't find a lighter and I remembered where I kept my weed that I had two lighters there and I opened the thing up and found I actually had some weed left. Let's just say that day was the best day I had in a long time and the day afterwords I was still feeling some of the effects and it was also a good day. I don't know why but when I watch Anime I get really attached to characters and to see them go in one way or another (death or just the show ends) I end up feeling really sad because I felt like I have been with them through so much and now they are gone. I still have weird dreams, last nights dream I don't remember much about but I know it involved school like most of my dreams do. I really like dreaming because then I can dream about a better life, or that I have a close friend/companion.

There is this page on facebook that always posts cool stuff involving knights or reapers and has saying that I really agree with they also have connecting sites that have cool stuff too. Here are some examples, "A moment of pain is worth a lifetime of glory." "Strength is nothing more then how well you hide your pain." "If you got my back in my darkest hour(s) I will have yours for the rest of your life." "Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage not weakness." here is a funny one "Deja vu is actually a glitch in reality, and it indicates that something has just been changed. Someone or something has ceased to exist, all memories and records of their existence erase forever. Deja vu happeneds when they get into your brain, when they need to change your memories. Maybe to erase your brother from the world. You know, the brother that you never had." "I walk in the Darkness so that others may see light." I see myself as a heroic person, I feel that because of my mental disorders and the amount of suffering I go through, the loneliness, the depression, the rage, and my darkest moments. I told my therapist that if given the opportunity, I would never ever ever dump this one someone else, in fact if a friend of mine were suffering from depression or something I would willingly take their pain, and depression from them so they could be happy because no one deserves to go through these types of feelings and If I could save someone by taking their pain away and adding it to mine I would do it in a heartbeat.

You get the point. I guess that's all, I am pretty sure soon my depression will hit full force like an F5 Tornado




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