Nowhere girl

Finding a reason to breath
2016-02-24 22:00:21 (UTC)

questining myself

i spoke to diana yesterday. she admitted she still using. I decided to tell her with that being said i cant have her in my life. Knowing what i know with her still using, its messing with my head!!!!

I love her so much i find myself telling myself, what if i do it with her? Will she give me the time of day then? We can do shit together and it will be ok, she will dump Ralph! I know stupid stupid thoughts but i can help it. I need her, I love her and I wanna save her but she so stuck on her shit and ralph she wont let me in.

She say she trying to stop. Bullshit i dont believe her. I believe she trying to control it and maintain but quit, i doubt it.

I also findmyself wondering how did she feel when she did that line? Was it good, did it help her forget the fucked up pain i caused her, cause right now im in heartache and maybe that will cure my heartache!!! Im thinking crazy irrational thoughts and its only a matter of time before i give in!!! This is why i have to rid her out of my life. Im questioning my self and myself worth.




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