always wth love

Ad 2:
2016-02-24 09:10:29 (UTC)

my loose thread (day 2)

So last night I was alright but I was scared cause what had happened other night. I woke up at 2:14am to go pee and my brother woke me cause he had also had go pee. I thought was kinda weird, but whatever. I woke at 4:14 then tried to get some sleep then it was 4:30 then I was pissed it was "completely waste".
I couldnt stop thinking what I'd said to Him how my panic attack took control and left in haze for so many hours, I almost shut down.I thought how heavy where i know all the places where scissors were located. It'd scared me that Id totally lost control in myself. When I got home very late re-showed the episode. I remember that it gave me chills on my arms like window was open and wasnt even close, cause i was on the couch.
So figured that if had confidence I wouldve drank so much booze to fill up my needs. I didnt do those things not damn ounce of it. Im VERY curious would have done alone if my panic attack didnt happen. Im so confused right now?
M had messaged me yesterday bout Him and she said go to him basic terms. So it gives me some hope.