A lady in the crowd
2016-02-22 05:38:00 (UTC)

Is It Worth It?

Not so long ago were the good old days without any worries; including happier times that had a prettier picture. I do my best to listen to the advice from my older peers- I'm too young allow stress to consume me.

On a bright Summers day I get up on the right side of the bed and I'm sure I've finally slayed my demons. I'm comfortable in my own skin and I'll follow the classic motto, "Don't worry be happy."

Other days anxiety attacks get the best of me. In those moments of panic it feels as if my World is going to fall apart. It doesn't matter where I am, what I'm doing, I'll lock myself up in isolation. I won't open the door until I put on my earphones on. I listen to jazz in times of distress, talented musicians like Louis Armstrong sweep me off my feet. Jazz resembles my life in so many levels; you never know what's going to happen next.

One moment it feels like I'm on top of the World. The next thing I know I have a cold reality check. My mediocre tutoring job isn't going to bring me enough money if I'm plan to enroll in a 4-year University. Then again I'm only 16, but I know there's much more I can do. I easily made $100.00 from selling coffee mugs for the theater company. Instead of promoting an end of the year field trip, I should be self-promoting. After all, I need more cash in my bank account. After days of over thinking I came to a conclusion of abandoning theater to have more time to focus on my priorities. I ditched Saturday rehearsals, and I drove my grandma to Costco. I bought boxes of various candy bars with the intention of making profit.

Being entirely honest here all of this gives me anxiety because I know I'm giving up my youth two years earlier than most teenagers. Is it really worth it?

~Yours Truly,