✯Sincerely, Me✯

☯LivingWithMyself☯
2016-02-15 16:42:47 (UTC)

What I Need


Dear You,


Fuck you.

Fuck everything about you.

You can say all that shit, and you don't feel bad about it whatsoever.
How could you say that to me?
How could you fucking say that to me?
Yet, you claim to love me?
Fuck. you.

I wish I had the strength to walk in there,
And scream until my voice gave out.
Scream about what a horrible piece of shit person you are.
I hate this.
You can do that to me, and there's nothing I can do about it.


As a matter of fact, I fucking like my hair.
I'll straighten it. I'll cut it off. I'll curl it.
I'll shave it all off, and stomp on it while chanting to the moon if I fucking wanted too, because it's MY FUCKING HAIR.


And no, I do not need to start wearing make-up.
I don't like it.
I threw it all away.
It's gone.
And I'm never wearing it again.


You know what you need to do?

You need to stop telling me who to be.
You need to stop judging the quality of my life and happiness by the presence or lack there of a romantic male partner.
You need to stop telling me how to look and dress myself.
You need to learn to accept people for who they are.
You need to stop acting so self-righteous.
You need to learn how to treat your own grandchildren with respect.
You need to get off your fucking pedestal.
You need to stop shoving your religion down my throat.

You need to fucking understand that this is who I am, and you can either accept it or fuck off.

Yeah, I fucking know I'm almost 20 years old.
And I DO plan to see the world.

At least I'm not a 75 year old child like you.
At least I don't have a shit ton of children and grandchildren that don't have anything to do with me like you.
At least I'm not in a dead-end marriage like you.
At least I'm not a complete disrespectful, narcissistic,
piece of shit person like you.


I will never think to myself "I wish I had've listened"

I will always be thankful that I didn't.

I will never be like you.

I know what I need to do.
And that is to live my life the way that makes me happiest.
And, I figured that out for myself.


One day, I'm going to leave.

And you're the one who's going to be sorry.

You're the one who'll realize how much YOU needed me.

And I don't give a shit about what your kids say.
I don't care about what it makes me look like.
I'll always be the shitty, ungrateful kid to them.
No one will ever know how exactly you made me feel.
How exactly you treated me.

Because if anything, I cared too fucking much.

I've tried too fucking hard to make it work here.

And I'm done caring.

You don't deserve it.

And one day I'll give up trying.


You raised me when I had nothing,
and I'll always be grateful for that,
But the money you spent raising me doesn't pay for the way you've made me feel all of these years.

The only thing I'll regret is not being able to get away from you faster.

Sincerely,
Estranged





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