✯Sincerely, Me✯

☯LivingWithMyself☯
2016-02-14 05:52:57 (UTC)

💗💗 My First Valentine 💗💗

💗💗 My First Valentine 💗💗

Lace.
I needed lace.
Where could I find some lace?
Grandma wouldn’t have given me any. Or have bought me some.
You know that feeling when a project’s future relies on a single thing? Without that single thing, it wouldn’t be worth the time? The project would just fall through without it?
This was one of those things.

This card was supposed to resemble the cliche Valentine card.
You know, the big red heart framed with white lace.
It just wouldn’t be worth it without the lace.
It wouldn’t be right.

I almost gave up, but I improvised with white paper.
I cut out a big white heart with a pair detail scissors, to make it look like frilly lace.

I pulled out a piece of paper, and scribbled down a cheesy love poem,
and taped it into the card. I didn’t sign it. I left it anonymous.

I was proud of the end result.

The idea to do this was completely impulsive, but it would be a long time before Valentine's Day, so I decided to make more.

I began spending the rest of the time I had before the big day, to make identical cards for all of my friends. They were really fun to make.

I told my best friend at the time, Hayley, about my plans for the first card that I made.


The week of Valentine’s Day arrived, and I decided to deliver the first card before the others.
I started to feel nervous as the clock hands moved closer to dismiss for lunch.


The bell rang, and everyone filed out of the classroom. I hung around in the back, and I walked out. As soon as the classes exited the hallway, I called up to my teacher and asked her if I could return to the room to fetch my “lunch money” that I had “forgotten.” She said yes.

I ran back, grabbed the Valentine from my notebook and walked back through the hall. I walked up to his locker, and slipped it in through the crack at the top.

There was no going back now.

♥❤♥❤♥


His name is Gavin. We were both in the 7th grade at the time.
He had moved and transferred into my school the year before.

Gavin was the most hated and bullied person in our grade.
I liked him. I thought he was cute, and funny.


But I knew at that time, that a relationship at our age simply wouldn’t work.

I knew that I wasn’t mature enough.
My intention with the Valentine was to express how I felt,
and at least make him smile. I knew that he would like it.
I knew that he struggled at school with the way people treated him,
and I thought that would make it a little easier knowing that not every single person hated him.

And on top of that, It was a good feeling to make and give someone a genuine Valentine. Someone that I liked more than just a friend.

But, as you can probably already tell, it spiraled out of control.

Hayley watched him from a distance open his locker.
She told me that it was so perfect.
The card slipped out as he opened the door, and landed on the floor in front of him.

She said that him and his friends read it, and were brainstorming together who could have possibly made it, etc.

She said that it made him happy.

That was my goal.

Except, she told him that it was me who made it.

♥❤♥❤♥

The next morning, him and his friends watched and pointed as I passed out the cards I made for my friends. I decided to go ahead and hand them out a day early.


And, by lunchtime that day, I was in a relationship with him unknowingly.
Hayley had asked him out “for” me. Even though I didn’t tell her too.

Everyone knew. Everyone was talking about it.
It was the biggest of all of the drama floating around that year.

The most hated guy, and the weird, quiet girl were dating.

I liked Gavin, but like I said before, I didn’t want to date him.
At that point, I didn’t feel like I could just end it.
I was in far too deep.

The next day was actually Valentine’s Day.

He had gotten me a stuffed dog in a beautiful box covered in hearts.

So from that point on, we “dated”.

Which basically meant, we wrote each other notes. That was pretty much it.


This went on for a very long time, until I made up some lie as a reason to break up with him.


We continued writing notes throughout the 8th grade.
He asked me out a few more times, but I shot him down.


We stopped talking after that.

We didn’t reconcile until the 11th grade.
We were in three classes together.
He and I ended up being friends.

I haven’t spoke to Gavin since graduation.

I still have the stuffed dog,
the box, the bottle of perfume he gave me for Christmas,
and all of the notes.

He’s an amazing person altogether.
I wish him all of the best.


♥❤♥❤♥

Dear Reader.

Happy Valentine’s Day!
Even if you don’t have a partner to spend it with, I still hope it’s a great day.
Just celebrate love in general.

You love you parents, Grandparents, Siblings, Friends, Yourself, Don’t you? Celebrate it.


And, I’m going to give a shout out to someone very special to me. (:
Happy Valentine’s Day, Josh <3


Sincerely,
Cupid




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