✯Sincerely, Me✯

☯LivingWithMyself☯
2016-02-03 04:56:46 (UTC)

Someone Entirely New


Dear Reader,

It's settled down.

I'm nervous about being caught again,
but I'm lost in a sea of thoughts.


I think it's time I talked about this.

I met someone here, towards the end of December.
I can't believe it's already been over a month.
It certainly hasn't felt that long.

His name is Josh.
Kinda ironic.. my ex's name is Josh.
I met him here too nearly 4 years ago.


I like him... a lot.
I really do.
And he likes me.

He's so sweet.
He's funny.
He's adorable.
He's smart.
He's understanding.
He's stunning, and radiant.

Honestly, it scares me how much I like him.

My sexuality demands that my relationships have to take baby steps.

We're not dating..

I told myself that after I broke it off with Chaz,
I'd be rocking the single life for awhile.

I still want too.
And Josh has been so sweet, and understanding about it.

I'm scared though.

I don't want to hurt him...
I don't want to disappoint him...
I don't want to rush things...


I like where we are now.

It feels like I've known him forever.


I don't want to get hurt.

I don't think he'll hurt me.
I thought the same thing about the other Josh...

I want to be able to trust him...
I do to an extent.
I want him to trust me too.

He lives so far away.

He has beautiful eyes.


The other day we skyped,
I layed down,
And we talked forever.

I love being able to talk with my voice when I skype.
It was so easy talking to him.
I just wanted to tell him everything.


I'm not sure where this will lead between us.

He makes me happy,
but I know that I'm not ready whatsoever to be in a relationship.
Trying to be after all that's happened, would be a stupid move.

I just broke up with Chaz.
I broke it off with the other Josh for good before him.


I honestly didn't think someone else would come along so quickly.

Is asking him to wait a selfish thing to do?

I mean... we're still getting to know each other.
Is it too soon to be thinking of something more serious?


If he finds love elsewhere,
I don't want to be in the way.

I'm not sure what to do.

This is all spawned from realizing Valentines Day is coming up this month. It'll be here in no time.

I was wanting to do something for him special..
And I got to thinking...
Is it too soon to be wanting to do something?

I feel like, I should do something. Nothing at all just doesn't feel right, but like, what level of gift is?


I actually have a Valentines day story that I'll post when Valentines day arrives, so, be on the look out for that.

Sincerely,
SapphireAndRuby





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