candy♥

candy's dear diary
2016-02-01 09:17:22 (UTC)

mamaji

mamaji these all hostel sucks..we have water problem food problem washroom space openness privacy behaviour social problem.i need your help.i mean i need good place to live.i need your house may be.a single room.food.water.geezer.washroom.friend or partner..walking area.tv.space privacy..someone to talk.mamaji you never think of me.aplogo ko kya lagta h mai khus hun yaha.nhi.nafrat h muje iss ranchi se ek din bhi yaha khusi se nhi beetta bs yaad ati h ghr ki bokaro ki..lyf ki..frnds ki..food ki.water ki..love ki..bio ki..coaching ki..12march ko khtm hoga uska xam...mtlb fir holi k baad hi ayenge.holi k baad mai jaa sakungi.kaash aranchika k bazu wale ghr me hi muje ek mast rum free me hi mil jata.r pani khana sb rum me ata.pata nhi khoye khoye kaise beetenge ye teen saal.ab tk ek saal bhi nhi beeta h.mai kch r krna chahti hun.astha bhi nhi h.prachi ki mummy mujhe apne ghr me bhi ek rum de deti to chup chap reh leti mai.bs washrum acha ho to kapre lane lejane ka bhi tension nhi.mamaji please ek rum de dijiye muje.muje iss bhayankar bawander se bacha lijiye.i know koi sath nhi h mere.kaash aranchika ka ghr acha lage muje r mai waha fit ho sakun.kash aranchika ek acha rum dekh k buk kr le paros me ya vaishali k hi ghr me mai reh lu.mujhe sweta bilkul pasand nhi.pub jane wali parhayi nhi krne wali larki mujhe jachti nhi.i luv u.r mai single rehna chahti hun.nand mere liye kch nhi kr sakte h.bs ghoomna h usko mere sath r burayi bhi meri hi krni h.ek baar bhi meri taraf nhi dekhte h.boht pyaar ho gya h muje tuj namune se.ky karu.paani bhi chaiye...mujhe ye larki nhi chaiye.man to krta h blok kr dun ise apni life se...par kaise..kyu meri life achi nhi hoti.ky kharabi h mujme.nand bolte h mai jaisi hun achi hun.pr boht tym se to wo mere se bolta hi nhi h.usne muje kbi nhi samjhne ki kosis ki.syd koi larka kbi kisi ko samjhne k bare me b nhi sochta.4-5baze paani nikaal lungi.mmtlv hua to.fate to hamesa se against mere h ya syd mai hi fate k against hu mai hamesa se.tutn parhana chahti hun.paise mehnt se kamana chahti hun..kch naya sikhna chahti hun.jaise guitaar katthak..nand kyon mujhe tum kbhi mere sath nhi dikhe...na khusi me na gum me.kash ye plaza chok ka silsila theek set ho jaye fir to hum har din saleha se milnd jayenge.paani bhi wahi se laayenge.paani ka r nahane ka boht problm h agar saleha ka hostel walking distanc nikla to hum shift ho sakte h.plaza chok ratu road..make faces priyanka...selfi re...nand bhool gya wo mujhe jo wada krta tha ki pyaar krta rahega wo mujse zindgi bhr.jo jo usne kaha tha ki mere sath wo pyaar se karega bs wahi wahi to usne nhi kiya...kyu..kya kami reh gyi thi meri baaton me..pyaar to mai bhi jatati...hr baat maani..hr rply diya..fir kyu yun mukar gye mujse..aaj kl shaam bhi jaldi raat ho jati h.2-3-4-5-7-8-9sare time gayab ho rahe h xaam aa gya h.bheje me kch nhi h...paani bhi ye log le legi..mujhe chaiye paani...ek bara bottle paani..boht pyaasi hun mai..syd kbhi sayaam ka fal na mile mujhe mai to bs cgalri jaa rahi hun..na paani h na khana..na dost h na..koi..nand hote mere to km se km ek do din month me mil leti unse..mai bhi khus r wo bhi.mai yes bolna chahti hun unhe.please i kno mai akeli hun.mai kaise haan bol dun use..haan uske kapre ka kona pakar sakti hun.wo aaye to milne mujse mai nhi bhaagungi..please nand i need hlp.shipra me bhi rk me bhi....ab yaha bhi mdad chaiye.kash mamaji ka ghr mera thikana ban jaye please.holi k baad mai wahi rahungi..mai bachchi hun na aapki...nand ya to aap milo meri prblm solv karo..jiski himmt nhi h apko..mamaji nand sb kaayar h..koi mujse pyaar nhi krta..mai hostl me nhi reh sakti..aap mujhe yaaha shift kr lo na mamaji..mai yaha ek rum me reh lungi bs do hi roti khati hun.na zada na kam..brkfst to roz krte bhi nhi h.kahi ghoomne bhi nhi jate.mai promise krti hun kvi kisi ko bhi meri wajah se koi paresaani nhi hogi.mai to hun hi anti social..mamaji muje hostel me nhi rehna.holi k baad mai wahi jaya.mai na saleha k sath hi reh lungi.ek baar plaza chok se sentivita bhi nazdeek h ye pata kr lun bs.nand mamaji aranchika vaishaali koi to mera sath do.akele chlo priyanka..soch lo akele chalna acha h..1400me rehna..khana me bhi bahr jana acha deal h bs dooriyaan mit jaye.yaha paani ka boht prblm h.i waant water boht sara water.mai nhi rahungi yaha jada kha lungi.sun lungi daant pr mama mami r family langooriyon k sath hi rahungi.r neha iska to mai kch wasool k hi jaungi..kya h iska jo mrre kaam ayega boht.15000rs kamana jaruri h.fir ye to bs compensation hua..i need sm job for earning purpose.do bache to unke hi ghr me ho gye.sat ko jana h.subh6baze uthenge r washrum fir brush fir nahana.fir dress fir makeup fir baal.fir nikl jayenge..bag me bottl purse100rs boht h.bs.niklne ka.acha ok.kaha jana h.nand aproach to karo ek r baar.inni jaldi palat gye.kaise??mamaji ko bhi mai pasand nhi.mamaji ky mai apki responsiblity nhi hun agr mai ranchi me hun to.bokaro me bua mausi aati thi muje milne mujhe lene pr aapne to rishte naate hi tor diye.jb kkoi lutta h na to bs lut jata h.koi nhi bchta.sara paani le li e log pyaas mujhe lagi h.pata nhi pani naseeb me h bhi ki nhi.syd mere naseeb me hi kch nhi h.ghr me sukun nhi.hostel me kch bhi nhi.khana nhi pani nhi dost nhi.saheli nhi.pyaar nhi.i want to be with u.i am very alone.mai parents ka naam dubana nhi chahti agr naam barha nhi sakti hun...mai ab kisi badnaami k liye ready nhi.aansu bhre h mujme bs ansu...kya iska hissa bnna chahte ho.yei mai hun ab.pichle saal jisse baat kari thi net pe apne wo fail ho gyi.ab kch nhi bacha h.ky khandr ka part bnna chahte ho.mere r mere family ki diwaar bnna chahte ho..badnaami ki haqdaar bnna chahte ho...r taqleekon ka kaaran bnna chahte ho??kyu sb suljh nhi jata.mai nhi ro sakti..mai fst yr me jarur hun.bt mai janti hun tum mere bare me sochtte hi nhi.u lost me i n hv falln into trap.




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