A lady in the crowd
2016-01-31 09:12:53 (UTC)

Life As We Know It.

2016 has started off in the right track. In the first week of January I went to UCLA for three days, I binged at a fraternity party, and I've met many people from L.A.
A few of them have helped me learn that I need psychological help. Not so long ago, I was raped and pretended to be strong on the outside, which slowly destroyed me on the inside. No matter how hard I tried, I knew I couldn't fake it. I hadn't fully recovered from the trauma. I've changed and no longer keep it all to myself; while I was on my trip it was the first time I ever spoke up and talked about it. Lilia Rid gave me encouragement to tell my grandmother about my darkest secret. Keep in mind that my grandma is the most important person to me and even though I trust her with my life; telling her didn't come easily. Likewise she was also raped and has raised me to her maximum protective ability. She did everything to protect me from the monsters of the World, and I didn't want her to think she failed as a parent. Through sobs and tears I told her everything and we cried together. Finally no more secrets.

The following weekend was filled with many first times. My first race of the year at Brawley was marvelous. In my collection of medals I've earned 2nd or 3rd but this time I earned 1st place! After the race Ceci, Amna, and I explored the many activities that the city had going on. We went rock climbing, which was fun but exhausting. When I nearly reached the top I looked down and panicked. I let go and felt as if I was destined to become the next Humpty Dumpy. I felt sure I was going to crack like an egg (Many thanks to the inventors of harness belts). Then for the grand finale, we flew on a private jet. Sean Tucker was our Blue Angels pilot who has been doing this for over twenty years. Being about 10,000 feet above the Imperial Valley had my heart racing with excitement. Miles of agriculture covered most of the land and for the first time I looked at the bigger picture. I realized we live our everyday lives thinking we're important, when in reality our significance is like a thin needle in a gigantic haystack. Rather than being narcissistic it's important to be humble and accept how small we truly are.

So far Junior year has been my Golden era. 2016 has started off great and I hope the future has a spin off to it!

~Yours Truly,