sft

A Subs Space... OVER 18!
2016-01-29 08:27:41 (UTC)

i got jewelry!... 4

i was told to put my hands behind my back, and clasp each arm with the opposite hand... a kind of reverse arm fold. i did so, but protested and questioned all the time i was doing it.
Master wound the tape really tight around my arms from the wrists almost to my elbows! There was no way i was getting out of that, and i panicked :(
i think the tears began before His hand struck my bottom :(
He explained that the reason was because i had suggested i was always good, when i wasn't *always* good, and that what i *should* have said in response to His waving my punishment was...

"Thank You Master/Daddy. i know i should have been punished, because i was really naughty for cumming without permission again, and i really appreciate Your waving my punishment".

Well yes, i *did* think all that, but i was just being playful :(

After explaining that through the hand spanking, which wasn't too bad, and quite enjoyable, and i wondered why i needed binding for that... He reached for the ruler :(
i began to beg, and wriggle... "No, please don't! i hate that thing! It hurts! Please don't? i'm sorry!"

But it fell on deaf ears, as He began smacking my backside with it, first one cheek, then the other.
It got harder, and then more focused in *one* spot!
i was jumping and crying... sobbing in fact! i can't describe the pain, or the anger i felt at being treated this way, after being told i was a good girl, and i wasn't going to be punished.
It was like He'd broke a promise to me, or something. But now, as i look back, i know i was a bit cheeky, and i know my frustration and upset were the little girl in me coming out, as opposed to the slave.

At one point, i tugged so hard on the bondage tape, and growled so loud in anger! i screamed and jumped. The tape dug into my flesh, so i stopped, and from that moment, i became quiet, sobbing to myself, as it continued.

The last few strikes were hard, but my bottom was so hot, and i was so immersed in self pity, that i didn't even yelp anymore.

Master untied my arms, and i left them there, behind me, not wanting to face Him, not even wanting Him to touch me right then.
But He pulled me up, and told me to lay across His chest, and He held me, and kissed my forehead, and told me i was forgiven.i didn't feel better though. i just felt really awful, for disappointing Him so much, and making Him have to punish me, when we could have been having a nicer time together.
i suppose i feel bad more, because He travels an hour to come to see me, for just an hour and a half sometimes, and i waste it with punishments i need for such silly things :(
i was really upset. The tears stopped briefly, but kept starting again whenever He spoke to me, or i thought about it :(
i felt so *little*, and for the first time, i felt that little girl feeling properly. Confused, angry, upset with myself, so very vulnerable!
Then Master whispered to me... "I love you. I love you when you're good, and I love you when you're bad, equally. Do you understand that?"
And then the tears were back, as i nodded, and told Him i loved Him too, and finally put my arms around Him, which up till that point, i realized had been hugged tight to me.

It was one of those moments that just makes me feel so in my place.




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