Experienced Life
2016-01-28 21:09:12 (UTC)

The Constant Freaking Nightmares

So I'm in control of my day-to-day activities. Then when I go to sleep, I sometimes get these dreams of my ex. The shit she used to put me through. The feeling of being betrayed by her affairs. Even after I busted her and she wouldn't leave the fucking house to go live with him. The feeling of knowing I can't count on her before I knew she was fooling around. The feeling of coming home and all the shit is gone as they finally move but take all they could with them.

It's been years now. I've adapted and learned to live my life the best way I can. So why the hell is this happening? Is this some way to remind myself what I don't want? I don't need this. I paid my dues already. I don't need the constant reminder of how not to live my life. I already know. I've experienced this shit multiple times. How about a freaking break?

What kind of an aura am I broadcasting out there when I have to wake up to these kinds of dreams. All I know is I'm tired and just need so peace and quiet. I don't need anyone to rock my world. I just want to live as peaceful a life as possible till I die from a heart attack or whatever.

I'm not asking for much. I'll work hard to earn a living. Buy stuff I probably don't need. Enjoy my hobbies. Hang out with friends and help them when they need it. That's it. Can't I just get a fair deal and not have to deal with drama even in my dreams?

Well, I knew 2016 wasn't going to bring big changes. Just the same old same old. ..Sigh....

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