✯Sincerely, Me✯

☯LivingWithMyself☯
2016-01-24 04:24:35 (UTC)

Ghosts


Dear Reader,


You know those old memes that talk about how if a girl is like
really insecure about something,
it's because a past lover hurt her doing/saying said thing in the past?

Reading those as a kid, I thought it was bs.
I thought it was just an excuse.. not just women but for couples in general to just lose their heads and not have to take accountability for their own insecurities.


Now that I'm older and have had some experience in relationships,
I feel like I get it now.


I've noticed it in myself recently...

Things my ex's have done in the past that people in my life do now...

And it hurts more than it should..
because it reminds me so much of how I felt back then.
It makes me revisit those feelings, and it even reopens some of those wounds.


It's weird.

Because my patience and tolerance are worn so thin when it comes to said things..
and I can't help but wondering if that's a good thing or a bad thing?

It's not the fault of the people in my life now ... and honestly it's not really fair?
Because I feel like they should have more of a chance or rather, more patience and tolerance....

It's like...
When you have an older sibling...
and for example, when they start high school.
It's their first kid though... they trusted that they'd know to do good in school on their own... so they didn't have a system really to discipline them if they didn't.

Let's say they get bad grades like practically all year long,
and barely pass the first year..
Your parents are SO frustrated with them...
but the bad behavior continues despite all of their efforts to correct it... and eventually they give up trying.

HOWEVER. By the time YOU start high school,
Your parents flip shit when you bring home anything lower than a B.

You will literally be disowned if you don't make the honor roll.


It's not fair.
Who's to say you wouldn't have been a good student regardless?
But your parents weren't going to take any chances with you.

So essentially you're paying for what you're sibling did before you...
And you hadn't even had the chance to prove yourself as more responsible.


Some would say good for the parents for learning from the past mistakes and improving on their parenting when it comes to the education of their children,
Some would say bad for the parents for punishing the second the kid for something the older sibling did.


I don't want to be this way.

Sincerely,
Haunted




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