XxFreakyWalrusGirlXx

Life is a Trauma
2016-01-18 00:17:54 (UTC)

Movie Night

Dear Diary,

I have been SO crazy busy. Not even with school all that much, there's just a lot going on in my life. With friends and dad and Evan and this kinda weird guy on here that is like 40 and wants to know about my sex life. So to start off, dad has been acting kinda sketch lately. Like more than usual. He'll leave at 2 in the morning (a couple hours before work) and he'll come back an hour later and sleep until he has to get up. It's really weird. Maybe he's seeing someone.

Hailey practically never goes home. She stays here and if I'm not here (which I usually am but if I'm with Evan or something...) then she'll play with Blaze and write in her Book of Really Sad Poems until I'm available again or whatever. XD

Oh god, but then something happened last night. We were all at Hailey's and Bryson's drinking beers and smoking and everything we do all the time and Evan had to go home because his dad has been in bed recovering from his surgery. Anyway Hailey eventually passed out because we were watching a movie in the dark because that's really fun when you're crossfaded. She was laying on the floor (not sure how she got there) and so it was just me and Bryson on the couch. I said I was cold so he put a blanket over us and I didn't even think about it because I was so fucked up. Then he whispered how it reminded him of last summer and all the time we spent and I was like "Dude, we were friends with benefits, it wasn't romantic at all." And he said he liked it like that and that we fit each other nicely and he turned his head right when I did and next thing I know we're lip-locked. Okay but Bryson is a really good kisser or maybe it was just me being drunk but I totally forgot about morals and all that because I was faded as fuck and it felt great and okay you can't even be mad at me. It all happened so fast. I stopped kissing him and looked back at the tv and soon I felt a hand slip into my sweatpants and underwear. I pretended not to notice but Bryson fingering me felt fucking wonderful and the way he rubbed and thrust with his magical hand just umph. We had to be quiet so we wouldn't wake up Hailey. I was really getting there but then I realized what I was letting happen and I just got up and told Bryson "OMG I HAVE A BOYFRIEND OH FUCK" and he just licked his hand and said he didn't care. I told him I couldn't do this and that's all I remember because I was out of it. I woke up this morning and barely remembered it but then I texted Bryson and he said he didn't know what I was talking about. So I'm just going to keep it to myself. I know nothing. It's not cheating because I was drunk and high and could barely even keep from pissing myself, much less have the morale to stop something that was physically pleasing. OMG. I don't even know. I mean, I told Hailey. I told her everything that had happened between Bryson and I. She didn't freak out or anything and just asked that I not do anything with him ever again and I was like "I DO NOT PLAN ON IT!!!!" She said he took advantage of the situation and that he was wrong for that, which I agree with. You can't just start coming on to someone who's half drunk and completely baked.

And I haven't seen Evan nearly as much because of his job, but he texted me an hour ago saying he wanted to talk to me. I told him I didn't want to leave the house so he could either come over and talk to me or just text me but he hasn't responded yet. Maybe it's to do with his dad or something? Idk. There's just a lot going on.




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