All that is
Times are hard for me right now. I..
Times are hard for me right now. I haven't checked my bank account since I paid my rent on Dec 12th, for fear that there might not be enough money pay this month's rent. Obviously I don't plan on burying my head in the sand, but since whatever will be will be, I figure I won't burden myself with the stress of knowing just yet. There's a chance I could be alright, since I did work 3 days last week at I knew it might get to this. I was supposed to have an air bnb person stay in my room. In fact I found a girl. Nigerian (I believe), and therefore, by association tidy & level-headed. The images I posted of the house were lovely. Just the sort of house you'd look at in an ad and be enchanted by - you'd immediately imagine for yourself a quaint, banter & wine-filled, home-cooked meal, meaningful kind of existence most likely far from your current one. My dining room gives that, and truly it is. I'm sure Matthew and his english-singaporean brood had quite the freshly-baked pie kind of life here. She seemed enthusiastic about the house, unsurprisingly. So when she requested to see an image of my bedroom, I brushed aside the teeny feeling of suspicion that she was reconsidering and frantically rearranged my bedroom one morning before work, transporting clutter from whichever part of the bedroom I was pointing the camera to 'behind the camera' and then transporting it yet again and again to set up my next shot. The photos weren't glowing but luckily my bedroom carries itself well enough that with the right kind of light and some interesting collectibles in frame, a satisfactory job was done. I sent these to my prospective air bnb guest. By noon she had responded. The room 'seemed fine' and did she have to come back to me today? This was a friday, I now recall. I responded that tomorrow would be fine, being careful not to push her. Saturday morning she responded that she'd found another place. Fucksake. One the one hand I could say, I shouldn't feel gutted about something I never had in the first place. But then doesn't that approach when applied to other areas of life seem passive, almost lazy? And she was to stay for a good 2 weeks - enough to cover a months rent had she paid at the rate advertised. Oh well.
So I'm here. Had a couple more gigs this week just gone.