Nadia

wet blanket
Ad 2:
Try a free new dating site? Wiex dating
2016-01-08 09:31:03 (UTC)

I always feel so fucking irrelevant. Like..

I always feel so fucking irrelevant. Like even when people specifically pay attention to me it's only because they noticed I was quiet or something.. but like if I was talking they wouldn't pay attention to what I was saying.. They just don't want there to be a problem. I swear half the time I wish I didn't exist and the other half I'm okay. I don't know. You just know when you're the person that doesn't really matter? and it doesn't matter what anyone says because everyone's actions and the way they treat you proves it. Honestly I feel like not talking to anyone for a while and just being sad. I don't know why. Sometimes I just become so introverted. I don't feel important. I'm not important.
Here let's list the people that I used to interact with a lot, or interact with at the moment and my opinion.
Brad doesn't try anymore, he doesn't care. And of course it hurts I thought we were close but in the end it doesn't matter how close you are with someone when you're me, because they can always just drop me. It's just gone, he's gone.
Matis I felt a connection with but.. he doesn't try either.
Gill said he cared but he doesn't obviously.
You know if people actually fucking cared they'd fucking try but they don't because it's just fucking me and I obviously don't fucking matter anymore to these people that were my friends for years.
Jade... Just gone.
Jacob, I don't even want to think about.
Connor stuck by me the longest but his interests are elsewhere now that he's dating Rowena.
I'm always with Tom and Jimmy and that group really but.. If anything I think I use them as a distraction from my depressing life and thoughts. I mean, I don't even think they actually like me aha. They always just kind of.. pay me out and I know they say they're joking but I think it goes deeper than that.
Zoe, used to be really close. Aren't anymore. It always just comes down to me. I'm always to blame for being a terrible person. But at the same time, Zoe wasn't very nice to me either but I was just meant to take it because she's older than me. I guess I snapped.
I just wish I could find a purpose I always feel so fucking pointless.


Ad:0
Try a free new dating site? Short sugar dating