Nadia

wet blanket
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2016-01-05 12:45:10 (UTC)

You know who you are

I know a lot of people claim to have trust issues. But honstly after having two of my closest friends betray me completely at the same time.. it changes things. It changes people. It changed me.

How can you do that to someone? How can someone who was meant to be your best friend lie to you for years and years, never saying anything. And your boyfriend of two years? they slept together. They fucking slept together. I never knew people actually did things like that but it hit me like a fucking train. It made me want to jump in front of a train. cliche movie plot, the best friend gets with my boyfriend. Some fucking friends. To think about all the good times or things i told them when they were keeping things from me the whole time? they're fucking scum stupid fucking cunts and I can't stop thinking about it no matter what I do it's been fucking months and I used to sit in my empty room and cry and cry and scream into pillows at night. And I never wanted comfort, I never wante anyone to see me like that I just wanted to be alone. And I'm still like that i just want to fucking be alone I want everyone to fuck off away from me you can't trust fucking anyone in this world they're all liars no matter how fucking close you are YOU ARE NEVER A FUCKING EXCPETION TO PEOPLES GENUINE WAYS. I knew he was a sneaky fucking cunt but I thought I'm his girlfriend we've been together so long we're fine but it wasn't fucking fine I was no excpetion to his selfish cunt fucking ways and I feel like the only way I can get it out is to pointlessly write in this diary because I can't fucking talk to anyone BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FUCKING TRUST ANYONE ON THIS EARTH IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO THEY ARE OR WHAT THEY ARE TO YOU. I mean is it something to do with my judgement of character? do I just easily become close to people who aren't genuine? or do genuine people just not fucking exist because honestly it feels like it sometimes or all the time I just can't fucking do it anymore and it's not like anyone fucking tries with me anymore anyway i'm not sure why I'm here and I might just quit soon because I'm so sick of being here.


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