azerbach

Diario
2016-01-01 16:12:45 (UTC)

New year, no heart.

Lessons I've learned this past year:

If I admit that I need someone, they will turn on me for needing them. Typically they turn right when I need them most, because that is when I make the mistake of displaying my feelings, which are a burden. I already knew this, but I had it confirmed for me multiple times this year.

Most people are just out to use other people - usually for sex and money, secondarily for validation. My only hope of receiving any affection is to be an easy mark and go in knowing I'll be dropped once my usefulness has passed. A person given the power to hurt me will do so without a second thought, unless I am useful enough.

If I let them stick around long enough, everyone I date will eventually give me a detailed speech about why specific other women are better and more worthy of their attention than I am.

Entering 2016 with my heart turned off. Nothing goes in, nothing comes out.




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