LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
Ad 2:
2015-11-18 16:40:02 (UTC)

*INSERT that song that's been stuck in your head HERE*


"Cool Blue Reason" by CAKE

Cool blue reason I'm just talking to myself
Cool blue reason I'm just rearranging Hell
I'm just talking to myself
I'm just talking to myself

Cool blue reason wraps around your throat
The minutes change likes seasons
Only eight more hours to go
Only eight more hours to go
Only eight more hours left to go

[is this song about skwl]

November 18, 2015 Wednesday 3:44 PM


So this entry will be short bc I'm watching a video called "107 Facts about Over The Garden Wall" and it's 20 fucking minutes long but that is my favorite show ever (yes... Buffy has now been pushed to the back burner, along with Scrubs, and the Office. Haha, wait no. The Office is always up there)

OVER THE GARDEN WALL IS THE CREEPIEST FREAKIN KIDS SHOW EVER I JUST UGH

I've also been watching Gravity Falls but anyway

My vaguely creepy (it's probably a normal level of creepy, but how would I know?) fascination with Birdy has progressed into a Full Blown Crush.

I figured this out when, upon making eye contact (which he broke about half a second later. He does this a lot. I don't think it has anything to do with me, he just seems to dislike eye contact what we would get along so well high five bird-boy).

Anyway... Jesus, my parentheses. Whilst making eye contact, my stomach did that weird twist thing and my heart wouldn't chill.

It was really weird, though, because my mind didn't go as fuzzy as I thought it would. Perhaps that only happens with prolonged exposure... So yeah, I was thinking pretty clearly and suddenly, "Oh. Looks like my body likes this dude."

Which makes sense. He's all boyish and pretty and ugh, I just want to start flailing or something because it makes me kinda excited. In a childish way.

On a somewhat similar note, I can't imagine having sex with people I don't know??? Apparently, most people can do this. Liv can, Adrian can, but this is just a totally foreign idea to me? I don't imagine having sex with real people when masturbating and I don't even really think about myself so??????? Er????

Okay. Later, guys. I think I made weird eye contact with birdy 2 times today. Strange dude. In the halls, he neverrrrrr looks people in the eye. I'd probably like him less if he weren't so shy (I've liked outgoing people before and all, but the shyness suits him ok).

But that is also the reason we'll probably never know each other; I'm shy too so I mean. Also, very awkward and usually pretty guarded. I've been getting much better, though. I actually made a friend in Chem class just by being myself, isn't that crazy?

Wow. Not a friend for life or anything, just a person to talk to. It's not uncomfortable or awkward or anything.

Yeah, I've been much better.

Part of it has to do with Liv. Let's all pat her head. She and Elise have such a positive way of looking at the world while managing to stay realistic, too???????

Ugh. I love Liv. I'm going to tell her she should be a boy or I should be gay so we can date each other because when am I going to find a boy like her, heh? Hehh?????

Yes, because life is that simple.

I feel about fourteen years old today.

————————————————————————

I might write later, if I still have that urge.


Ad:0
https://monometric.io/ - Modern SaaS monitoring for your servers, cloud and services