Story of a Girl
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2015-11-13 23:40:02 (UTC)

Friday the 13th


I was up until 11:13, AT NIGHT, trying to finish up the video for class. We had like two weeks to work on it, but the first week was just spent on brainstorming because another group was going to do the opposite of our situation, so we had to work out how to make the two videos work. In the end, this was the result: my group was doing a medical scene where the doctor reveals that the patient is sick with ebola and that medication is worth $1mil for a bottle of pills. The patient doesn't have the money, so the doctor says he can't help him because it's illegal. The nurse convinces the doctor to help the patient, so he gives him the medication for free. That's the "good/morally correct" part. The other group is doing the opposite, where the doctor refuses to help and the patient dies of ebola. We also had an alternative scene where a family member of the patient blackmails the doctor into helping, which is "wrong". This is all relating to utilitarianism. This was the plan: the main group leader had us do a Saturday Night Live kind of thing, a comedy skit. She was going to record herself seperately, introducing us and explaining what utilitarianism is. Then, the rest of the group's videos would be played as examples. The two hospital groups, and the other two groups had to do a business scene.



Mari's group was supposed to do the business scene with the other group, but that didn't happen. Mari and her friend got pissed at the main leader because the leader didn't want to take their suggestions. "She's making everything about herself. We have good ideas but she wants us doing HER ideas and that's not fair to us." And that's true. The leader, Alice, originally had my group doing the business scene where the boss forces his female employees to sleep with him in order to get a promotion, "morally wrong". As the co-leader, I talked to Alice about changing my group's skit because I LISTENED to my group and they didn't like the business idea. So, instead, AS A CO-LEADER, I came up with something that my group members all agreed on. One of my group partners mentioned my idea to another group, and the co-leader there liked my idea so we agreed to work together to show the examples, the morally correct and wrong. Because of this, Alice assigned the business scene to the other two groups, and they didn't like that. Mari was originally going to do a dance scene, or some shit like that, and tan Christian's group was going to do a sport scene about cheating. YEAH, WELL, Alice said they were both going to do the business scene so they could demonstrate the right and wrong examples, like my group and the other. Mari and her friend were talking about Alice being unfair, and Alice heard that. On the second or third day into the project, Alice sat at her desk and didn't bother to check up on us. The day Mari was complaining, we were walking to 6th period when I asked why they were upset and she said, "She thinks she's all this, and this whole thing is a group collaboration. She's not even doing anything." And then I said, "Well, I don't know. She kind of... elected herself. And she hasn't checked up on us. I don't know if this will work out." WELL, Alice was walking IN FRONT of us & I'm pretty sure she heard us. We were talking shit about her... while she was right there.

I'm not technically wrong, though. She DID elect herself, and for whatever reason, she just stopped checking in on our progress. Like, on the day the project was assigned, the teacher had barely let us gather when Alice started talking about being leader. Mari was the first to say she wanted to be leader because she had great control and the rest of us agreed that she'd make a good leader--she's aggressive when it comes to making sure shit gets done. Some other people were already electing the tan Christian too because he's constantly on your ass to get work done, like Mari, but Alice was like "okay so I'm gonna be the leader" and everyone else didn't say anything about it. I personally thought Christian would be a great group leader but if Elvira wanted to be leader too, then cool. Honestly, I've got nothing against her. Though, I DO agree that it's unfair how she's throwing our ideas away. I get it, she wants things to go smoothly and she wants it her way to get us a good grade. I understand. BUT, this really IS a group effort. If one of the groups failed to submit their part, the rest of the group would take the fall and our teacher has done this before. And since it's a group effort, shouldn't we all put in our special touch? Alice wanted us to do a SNL skit type of thing, so we all agreed we'd do that. And we were all working together, too. The least she could've done was give us the freedom to let US choose what type of situation we wanted to act out instead of pushing one rejected idea onto the other groups. My group didn't want to do the business scene, and since I was nice to Alice, she said I could do my hospital scene idea instead--there was hesitation, though. But she pushed the rejected idea onto Mari's group. Mari's group is a lot more lively and a business scene was not something they'd tackle easily. They'd never get the work done, seeing as everyone in the group gets easily distracted and they admitted that. And since Alice basically stopped showing up to class or checking up on us, Mari decided to go along with her original idea since the group leader wasn't around to say or do anything about it.

So, things got messy. The first project was due the week it was assigned... but that didn't happen. The teacher extended the date because of credit checks, and then some kind of testing thing, and I honestly don't even remember anymore but we basically had an extra week to work on the project. My group gave up trying to record so one of my group members decided to do a powerpoint instead and put all our names on it. I was honestly a little upset about that because I was the one who wrote our script. Actually, I had to write the other group's skit because they wanted to be precise in our little collaboration. I spent nearly three hours writing a script for my group, and for theirs... Only to find out that my group didn't want to do the skit anymore and the other group completely forgot that I had written a script for them, even after THEY ASKED ME TO. They decided to "wing it" instead. So, yesterday, the teacher gave us the entire day to work on the project in-class. I asked my group members if they wanted to give the recording a second chance--"this is our final opportunity to make a video, if you guys want to". They agreed, and since we only had the one day to record, we'd put in our best, rushed effort. We were able to get it done, and it was terrible. The person recording sent me all the videos she had, but there was one, tiny problem: she was using an iPhone to record. I was using an android to edit. Android can't read .MOV unless if using certain downloaded apps, that didn't work with my phone. Since I didn't have any internet at home, I used the school wifi to download several video converting/editing apps and out of the many I downloaded, only two worked. I started converting the videos at around 6PM and the whole editing process didn't end until 11:13PM. I had to convert the videos to .mp4 so my phone could read them, and I did but they didn't appear in my gallery, so I had to start over with the conversion. I took the original videos, moved them onto the laptop, and used an online website to convert them. The problem here was that my dad still hasn't gotten the internet fixed (even longer story) so I had no way of connecting to the internet. So far, I've been using my phone for internet but it's incredibly slow. I was desperate, so I turned on my hotspot and used it on the laptop. The site crashed several times but I was able to convert and download the new videos. THEN,

I had to edit the videos. The videos were all out of order so I had to watch them all to see what order they went in. Honestly, it was hard. I hate myself so much, and having had to watch myself talk and walk was painful. I hate the way my body is, and I hate the way it looks in the video. I hate my voice and I hate the way I talked and having to watch the videos more than ten times... It's hard. I looked away from the screen when I was on camera. Note to self, I'm not actor material.

So, I editing was the simple part but it took a lot of my time because the app wouldn't always work the way I wanted it to. If I wanted to delete a clip, I'd had to completely close the app and then reopen it. If I had to trim, it wouldn't trim to the precise timing that I wanted. The app had sound effects (which were perfect for our "comedy" skit) and the effects were perfect... up until the point where a certain sound wouldn't play at the timing I wanted it to. The sound was supposed to play after the person in the scene was done talking, but the sound would actually play 5 seconds AFTER the time it was needed or while someone else was talking. Then, when I watched the final product, you could barely hear the effects. There were two issues: 1)I turned the volume up for the effects at max, but in the final product, you could barely hear it. And 2) The effects had a fuzz sound to them. Sometimes, they didn't even play at all. All you'd hear was the fuzz in place of the sound. I decided to just fo with it, so I tried to send my teacher the video... only to find out that the video was more than 25MB and I couldn't send the video as an attachment, since it was 28.8MB. WELL, FUCK. I gave up and went to sleep. Today, I decided to see if I could save it to my Google Drive and it actually worked. Through my phone, I started the upload at around 6:30AM and it didn't finish uploading until 7:18AM. Nearly an hour, but I'm glad I started when I did. I sent my teacher a link, and I was done.

And now on to my actual day, besides this whole project thing.

I arrived at my algebra class and I had completely forgotten that we had a substitute today. When I arrived, I saw her opening the door. From what I could tell, she looked like a 20 year old college student who wore very "hippie"-ish clothing. Once I was inside the classroom, I changed my mind. Her name was Ms. Tavland and she was definitely not 20. She was maybe in her late 30s and she had a really deep voice. She was also SERIOUS about getting us to work. This kid, Deontay, he's the loudest kid in the class. He walks in, listening to music and dancing. She was taking roll and she called his name, "Denota". He was like, "It's DEE-ON-TAY." but she was like, "Well, Denota is what's on this list". She had to go through the slides two times to make sure everyone had taken notes and when this one girl disappeared, she took roll again to make sure everyone was in class. When she called Deontay's name and he didn't answer, she just called him by his last name. Then, before the bell rang, she was trying to figure out how to work the school phone. Haha, I wish I could've helped.

Second period was okay. We were talking about the antebellum society and how slaves were treated, and then we watched a funny Key and Peele video about slave auctions. Third period was WOOOOOOO. We've been talking about forces for a while, and lemme just say, forces is the only thing I'm good at when it comes to physics. In 8th grade, I got straight As on all my force-related work. He was talking to us about tension Ft, Gravity Fg, and all that jazz. So far, it's the easiest thing ever. He explained to us how to add/subtract the vectors but in HIS way and it's not the way I learned. He wanted us to draw the vectors and show our math, which confused the fuck out of me. He just wants us to "draw connections" but I don't want to. As long as I'm getting the right answer, I don't care enough to draw the vectors. Fourth period was meh. I was texting Nikea throughout but I was supposed to be working on an essay thing. My teacher is assigning us new seats and today was our last chance to prove ourselves, but I'm not sure how that worked out. I'm pretty sure we're getting new seats on Monday, and she already has one made. So, she's giving us this new project thing where we write an autobiography, and today was the first day to get us started. She gave us a worksheet with 6 boxes and each box had an age; you'd write about your life at that age. I finished mine pretty quickly and Niza kept asking to look at mine. "Omg your parents divorced?" Wow, you were born in Mexico?" "You really have so many siblings?" She's been talking to me a little bit more but I honestly don't have any intentions of talking to anyone in that class. Once I get my half credit, I'm out. DEUCES.

Lunch was weird.

I talked to Mari about the spanish testing on Monday. She said she wasn't allowed to test because she already had some credit and testing is only allowed if you don't have a single spanish credit. BUT, HERE'S THE THING: I signed up for the exact same test. The counselors told me that you could only take the test if you 1)were missing a credit and 2)weren't currently taking a spanish course. I have 1 1/2 credits of Spanish and I need two full credits. I'm currently taking the spanish class, but I signed up for the test anyway. The test is this upcoming Monday and I'm already on the testing list. SOOOOO, why is it that Mari can't test if I'M able to? That's unfair, and it doesn't make any sense. Besides, I'm missing a semester while Mari is missing an entire year of spanish. If anything, she's more eligible to test than I am. Taylor and I agreed to go with her to the office to get that checked out but first, I asked to make a quick restroom break. As I was leaving the restroom, Mari said she should've gone in to change her pad so Taylor and I waited outside while she did her thing. We were actually having a period talk for a while.

See, this is why girls are awesome. We relate well to this type of stuff because we go through it every month. We don't judge each other, and we help each other through it. I mean, we were just talking about our own experiences but it was nice, it was like a bonding kind of thing. I'm not a very open person, but for whatever reason, I'm very open when it comes to period talk. I feel like I'm finally opening up to other people, but I never imagined it would be about something personal, y'know? Or maybe it's because I feel a little more comfortable talking to them about this type of thing, I don't know. But yeah, we had our little girl talk before a guy monitor walked past us to ask if we had lunch. Lunch was actually pretty decent, up until the point where Mari began crying. She's had a thing with some guy and she saw him and broke down. We followed him around for a while, and it was weird. I've never been great at comforting people. Taylor was hugging Mari while I stood there and took a sip of my juice box. Awkward. I didn't know what to say, or what do to. I don't do hugs, or any kind of physical touching, and I'm awkward. I told Mari he was no good but she didn't listen. She told me she was done but that was a lie. I wasn't sure what else to say. We, fortunately, made it to class on time but she ended up crying again and Cruz took her outside to talk.

So... yeah.

I didn't get the chance to eat so I was grumpy throughout the rest of class.

5th period was... I don't even know. I explained the whole video mess. Each small group of the entire big group had their videos done, but the teacher wanted them in one, large video. Alice hasn't shown up to class all week besides Monday. The teacher told us, "Well, Alice sent me an email this morning and she said she hasn't received anything from you guys." UH, THAT'S BECAUSE SHE NEVER GAVE US AN EMAIL OR PHONE NUMBER, BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN GONE THE MAJORITY OF THE TIME????? We didn't start filming until the second to last day of the original due date. She didn't bother talking to any of us. So, the teacher said she'd extend our due date to Monday, and she wanted all our group videos into one, giant video. Some girl volunteered to put the videos together, so she gave me her email address and now I have to send it to her.

You know what that means?

I spent... several hours working on a video last night that wasn't even due today.



I was soooo fucking pissed. But ya know what? I'm going to enhance the video I currently have. I'm going to get better quality, and better sound effects, and I'm going to make it better. Also, the other group presented and it was a really boring powerpoint made by the smaller groups. After their presentation, we took an evaluation test and that was it.

6th was alright. My teacher had me make some copies at graphic arts, then he had me clean his dishes. At first, it started off with filling his water gallons. Then, I started washing his cup. Slowly, he had me wash his spoon... and recently, I've washed his bowl. I now wash his entire breakfast meal. I don't mind washing his dishes, I really don't, but he eats oatmeal in the morning and by the time he has me wash his bowl, the oatmeal is basically glued to the bowl. I use his spoon to scratch it off but the sound the spoon makes against the bowl drives my ears insane. I also get weird looks in the restroom. Sooo, I went to the restroom to wash his dishes and Kassandra actually talked to me. Since freshman year, she's only ever talked to me when she needed paper or a pencil. She's never looked in my direction, and I wasn't sure if she even knew my name. Last year, she acknowledged me by my name once. That surprised me. But today, we had a small conversation. It started off with, "...What are you doing?" "Does your teacher really make you wash his dishes? I would've been like 'hell nah'." and "What class is this for?" She also asked for my opinion on her hair. And then she disappeared. I was also getting strange looks from some other girl in the restroom. EVERYONE always asks me why he makes me wash his dishes. I came back to class literally a minute before the bell rang. I was actually working on the physics homework before he sent me out to make copies, so I had to pack up all my things as soon as I got back. Zachary had to stay during his open period to make up a test in one of his classes, so I was waiting for my dad by myself. He came to pick me up fifteen minutes after my dismissal, and we went directly to pick up my sisters. My dad fell asleep in the truck but told me to wake him up once the ice cream truck arrived--it didn't arrive until the bell rung. I got myself a cyclone while my dad got himself a lucas chamoy. Briana and the other girls arrived but they were walking really slow. Once they were mid-crosswalk, I yelled out, "Walk faster!" and this one other kid yelled out, "Yeah, walk faster! Get to your car!" Briana was clearly embarrassed while the other girls just kept walking. She was like, "Fam, why you gotta do that? I have him for PE!" Embarrassment wasn't my intention, I didn't even know she knew him, I just wanted her to hurry. She kept telling me she was embarrassed on the way home.

My mom's husband came to pick me up around 5:30PM. I came home to my mom in an okay mood and the house smelling like baby vomit and shit. Nice. My mom asked if I wanted to go with her to the padrino's house, and I agreed to go, but ONLY because I thought there might be a chance Guy would be there. I mean, all the palo people hang out at the padrino's house, soooo, it was a safe bet. We arrived to a house full of music and people I had never seen before. My mom's husband was supposed to do some kind of fixing in the bathroom, so that's where he went to first. Meanwhile, my mom was preparing the maruchan cups that I had packed earlier. I greeted the people I didn't know and made myself comfortable on the couch. Time went on and my mom was waiting for the others to finish the job. They finished early, but we stayed for an extra thirty minutes to watch Caso Cerrado. After that, I asked my mom if we could stop at a local ice cream shop because I was craving tostilocos but after we left the shop, none of us left empty handed. I bought myself a chamango with lemon ice cream. Let me just say: lemon ice cream chamoy = YES. It was soooooo, so good. My mom bought some avocado ice cream for my brother... it was surprisingly very tasty. I'm not a person who likes spicy food, so I'm not a big fan of small amounts of spiciness. The avocado ice cream wasn't necessarily spicy; it was very smooth, and it had a little "spicy" touch to it at the end. It waa tolerable. It was more like if you took a sip of your water bottle, you wouldn't feel it anymore. My brother was able to eat it by himself without crying, so that's a good sign. My mom got him a small cone, but the smallest cone was the equivalent to the biggest cone. My brother ate ALL of it, though. My mom bought the tostilocos for herself and her husband bought a banana split. I was actually pretty darn proud for having convinced everyone to get ice cream.

My sisters didn't come with us, so they didn't get anything. HAH. They really missed out. I came home and I haven't gotten out of bed. I don't plan on it. I've been catching up on all the youtube videos I've missed, and I still have a bunch to view.

I think this is really cool and weird, but Zach brought this up a while back. He says I have a goofy smile on my face whenever Elías is mentioned in the conversation. He was talking to me about having a hangout with all the guys before Christmas break ends and I guess I started smiling because he said my smile was adorable. Today in the hallway, I was walking to fourth period when I saw someone with a sweater vest that looked like El's. My heart kind of stopped for a bit because I thought Elías was the guy in the hallway, but then I realized it wasn't him. Same thing happened a while back. I was leaving the ice cream shop with my brother when I saw a guy walking in, and he had a similar hairstyle to his. My heart started to hurt a little and I felt my face heating up a bit, but my baby brother brought me back to reality. I think I just miss him a lot. A while back, I had a dream about him. It was waaaaay, way back to our second or third kiss. I don't remember which it was or the day it happened, but he was walking me home from school. We stopped at the AM/PM with Trey to get our usual slushies but it was a little different because for once, we were going to share a single cup instead of buying two separate cups. We're both germaphobes and sharing cups was (still is?) a huge no-no in our books, but this was a huge step for us back then, now not so much. So we were making our way back home, and it was only a block away, but the walk there was long because we were walking slowly. We were nearly at my house when El stopped walking and he asked if he could kiss me and I was like "...I MEAN I GUESS..." and it was cute. He cupped my face for the first time and I had no idea how to react but it was really cute. And I don't know why, but I keep replaying this over and over at random times and I'm convinced that I really miss him. I don't know if he'll be coming to spend Christmas with us or not, or if we'll be going to Disneyland or not but I just want to be able to see him soon.

Zach told me I must really care for him. He said that if I'm smiling at the thought of his name, it means my feelings are genuine. I really do care for my big cuddly lion. He's the only one who truly knows how to piss me off, but he's a huge dork and I have a thing for dorks. We've been together for so long and I just really can't imagine what my life would be like without him. I just really miss him right now.


When I got to my mom's house, I got a notification about someone sending me a friend request. This someone was my best friend in 8th grade--we lost contact after my parents got me a new phone by surprise and I completely lost my contacts before I got the chance to tell her about my phone number being changed. She went on to my original zoned school so I never got to see her in person, and I haven't been able to talk to her since. And here she is, sending me a friend request.


I'm sooooo so excited to talk to her again. She was someone who understood my tastes, and I could really be myself around her. Plus, we worked well. Our 98%s in English prove that.

I'm going to explode in happiness if we ever get the chance to meet up in person again. Maybe I'll invite her to my school for a basketball game, OR the upcoming dance. I dunno, I'm just really happy that that she still remembers me because I never forgot about her.

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