Story of a Girl
2015-11-01 19:54:17 (UTC)


So after that whole counselor talk last Tuesday, my mom's been nagging me about coming back home. On Friday, Lizzy told me that my mom was picking ALL of us up so I asked her, "Why?" and Lizzy said, "My mom said that none of us are allowed to stay home by ourselves. I don't know why she's doing this now, though." Oh. I asked my dad if he knew anything about that and he said, "No, but I think it'll be good for you. You won't have to be home by yourself anymore." I actually liked being home by myself. And now it's like "no you can't stay home or you'll kill yourself". Soooo, she called me yesterday at around 12PM asking if I wanted to go back home or not. I told her, "I don't know. As far as I'm aware, you're taking me to the event on Sunday." and she was like, "Well, I'll be coming by later to pick the girls up. I'm giving you three hours to make the decision. You can live at your dad's and I won't reach out to you or you can home now." SEE, I didn't care about making a decision, so instead of having to deal with my mom's phone call, I took a nap. My mom called while I was still "napping" so Briana told me I had to go with her, regardless if I wanted to or not. I packed my PJs and the clothes I was going to wear for Sunday's (today's) event, since I didn't know how long I was staying. In the truck, I got to see my baby siblings, which I haven't seen in a month now. They didn't seem very eager, but they had just woken up from a nap, soooo. We stopped at the supermarket near my dad's house and that's when I really noticed how different they seemed. Like, they actually said "mamá" instead of just "ma" and that seemed like a huge deal to me. Gorda also spoke a lot more than what I remembered. It's all still gibberish, but she speaks a lot more gibberish now. They also still call me Wey. They've learned all of my sisters' names EXCEPT for mine. I have the easiest name in the family. Anyway, they developed a lot in just one month. My mom came back a few minutes later and she made a quick stop at the house, just to check if she had turned the stove off; she had. We traveled to the north side of town to a botanic shop--Briana asked if we were going to buy more chickens for the Palo ceremonies but my mom said she was just buying some smaller details. While I waited in the car, I heard someone knocking on the window so I turned around to see Guy giving me the dumbest look I've ever seen. I rolled down the window and we did our whole "HEY GUY" "HEY GURL" exchange and my very first question was, "what are you doing here?" He told me his parents were switchimg his station but he was only working at that specific store for a while. He then asked me what I was doing with my mom so I explained the situation and he said, "okay, cool... your mom's weird." And then he gave us mangonadas. So on the way home, I was eating my mangonada and my mom was explaining some a few things; first off, she was thinking about FINALLY getting me my gym membership. Ya know, the one I've been asking for three years now. Yeah. That one. We were going to go at the end of the week or next, next Thursday, once her husband got paid. Also, she still hasn't heard back from the counselors that were recommended to us. But, I WAS going to see a counselor. The family counselor, I'm not too sure about, but I was definitely going to see a counselor outside of school. Once we were arriving home, she mentioned that since we have to spend Christmas with her this year, we won't be spending it at home. In July, she was looking at hotel prices in California so that we could all spend our Christmas break in Disneyland. I didn't believe her, and I still don't. She mentioned that her husband has 5 different houses to work on, and if he gets them done by the first week of December, then we'd definitely go out to Disneyland... That's twice that she's mentioned Disney. But now, we might actually have the money. For ONCE, she might be serious! This really excites me because 1) I've never been to Disneyland so this would be my first time ever and, 2) I can go meet up with Elías and Jazzy. BOOOOOY. Jazzminia bought a Disney pass a few weeks ago and Elías could've gone with her, but he chose not to. He's never been to Disneyland either, and we made a stupid promise years ago to go together someday. If my mom is serious about taking us to Cali in December, all Elías would have to do is buy his pass and travel an hour or two to Anaheim. We could be together. We could live up to our (maybe not so stupid) promise... It would be amazing. The whole scenario would make me so, so happy. But... my mom always says she'll take us and she never does. She's probably just getting my hopes up again. It's always like that. Maybe it's best if I don't look too far into the future. She also explained some other things that I've already forgotten about...

So, we made our way back home and she made enchiladas. Yeah... one thing I missed most was her cooking. She makes a variety of food, and she TAKES HER TIME, unlike my dad. He only knows how to make food with meat. Tacos, tacos, sometimes meat in some green mexican sauce, and tacos. He's pretty great at making tacos. Authentic, Mexican tacos. Not the Taco Bell shit people eat. But yeah, the enchiladas were pretty good. While I was eating them, my mom went on to talk about how she didn't think it was fair that I'd rather live with my dad than with her. She carried me, she raised me, all that jazz. She mentioned how she had a difficult time conceiving me; how she spent two years trying to conceive me and throughout one of those years, she had to drink some kind of nasty, unsweetened tea to help her. She did it on a daily basis so that it'd help her conceive me. And one day, she found out she was pregnant with me. When my dad left, she was left all alone with me and how none of my dad's family helped her, that none of them told her where my dad had gone. Then she went on, "How do you think it makes me feel when I hear my own flesh and blood has contemplated suicide? You don't think I wouldn't care if you killed yourself? It makes me wonder where I went wrong as a mother. It makes me feel like I did something to make you feel that way. You don't even want to live with me" ... I was just trying to enjoy the food without a guilt trip. She ate after I was done, so I went to my room to get settled in my PJs. I also used the internet to my advantage and updated every single app on the iPad... MAN, I missed the fast internet. At my dad's house, a single app with a 98.6mb update takes maybe about 30 minutes to an hour. That's just for one app. At my mom's, that same update is finished in less than 2 minutes. And if I'm updating multiple apps at once, it'll take maybe about 5-ish minutes. I think that says something.

Since I didn't have anything else to do, I started watching Daria. LET ME JUST SAY, DARIA IS MY LIFE. I started watching every season of American Dad, and I STILL haven't finished. I'm on season 5, or episode 83. I'm about halfway done, I think? I WILL finish watching American Dad, but it's more of an off/on thing where I'll pick up watching it whenever I'm not busy. I also did start watching Desperate Housewives, but I haven't gotten very far. I'm on season 2 episode 8, but I can't remember what happened in the previous episode. The ep8 video hasn't been working, and that discouraged me from continuing. Until I can find a working video, I won't be able to go on. But now, I'm watching Daria and it's pretty great. As of today, I've watched up to episode nine, and they were amazing. Daria says everything that I think about, but never say out loud. I love the show. I remember seeing when I was younger, but I never knew the name of it until only a few days ago. So, that was all of yesterday. Nothing interesting.

Today was a lot more interesting and exciting. Last night, my mom had asked me if I wanted to go grocery shopping with her and of course, I said yes. I woke up this morning to a missed call from my dad... at 6:39AM. Did my dad seriously expect me to be awake at that hour? I didn't call back because I really wanted to continue watching Daria. I finished watching two episodes before I knocked on my mom's door to check if she was awake. She asked if I was ready to go, and I told her I just needed to put on shoes, so she said she'd wait. I came back with my shoes on and by then, the kids were all starting to wake up. We left the house before they were fully awake and we stopped at the big Bonita. We did a little bit of shopping in the vegetable isle before my mom decided we should get something to eat first before continuing our shopping. We stopped at the little side restaurant in the store; I chose a chicken burrito and my mom got a burrito de carne asada but she didn't like it because it was too dry. I was halfway done with my burrito when my mom started talking about why I hadn't decided on who I was staying with. My dad called me on the way to the store, since I sent him a text the previous night asking if he was going to pick me up. My mom was in the car, so of course I didn't want to be completely open about what I was saying. I was trying to subtly say, "Hey, when can you pick me up from my mom's house? Me asking this means I want to leave, like right now." But my dad didn't get the hint. At least that's what I thought. And on the way into the store, my dad called my mom. So, when we were eating, she said that my dad was saying that he felt as if I didn't want to tell her that I wanted to come back to her house. That is was all her fault for causing me to not come back...


SHE is the reason why I don't want to go back.

I have been begging my dad to get full custody of me. She kicked me out, so in a way, she was really doing me a favor. I've wanted to get away from her for so long... Long story short, I'd rather not go back to a house where I'm not wanted. The only thing that I like about being there are my dogs, the internet, the stocked fridge, the AC, and my bed. But my mental stability is never okay there. I'd rather live poorly with my dad than get yelled at.

But she didn't say anything after telling me how unfair it was for me to be with my dad than with her.

We spent maybe 2 hours completing the rest of our grocery shopping... the store was pretty full. We stopped at a nearby Alberston's and I had a pretty awkward confrontation with one of the triplets from my APUSH class... Oh. The second time I made eye contact, she gave me the sideways peace sign and I just did a shy wave. I probably wouldn't have felt so embarrassed had I not been wearing my PJs. After the shopping there, we stopped at a Smart Final to buy Gatorade, and after that, we stopped at the Padrino's house. My mom had found his wallet in the car and we were only supposed to drop it off, but she was too busy talking to him that a 3 minute stop turned into an hour conversation. After a while, he took my mom into the little shack he had in his backyard, which is like a smaller home for the Santos of Palo. I noticed he had some writing on a wooden board. I copied a little bit of it, but I'm not sure what it means. I think it might be the lyrics to the chant he usually performs, because the Lau Lau part sounds familiar. I tried googling it, but... No luck.

"Iba olorun
Iba eggun
Oyekun meyi ojuani
lemoso awo ilana awo
-eggun mapun (mafun?).
Eggun fumi lau lau
Itan lau lau eggun
Lau lau"

I wish I knew what this meant. Maybe I'll type them into google translate and see if anything comes up.

El Padrino showed my mom some of the animals that had been imported. He had dried bats, scorpions, spiders... I've never seen a bat or scorpion before. I thought the only animals involved in Palo were just the chickens that were uses for cleansing and sacrificing. Wow. We made our way back inside when I saw the vase from my first (and only) animal sacrifice from like waaaay back last year. It was the same blue vase I saw with the red things inside. I kept looking at it. Eventually, I heard some noise come from outside when I saw Guy walk in. I immediately got up to shake his hand. He came to deliver some of the bamboo sticks to the Padrino. He then went in to the kitchen to get some water. While he was in there, a man came walking in. Lemme just explain: this guy was maybe in his late 30s. He had on Nikes, some joggers, and pierced ears. He was like a "fashionably handsome" french/italian movie director with a taste for the finer things in life. Does that make sense? My mom said, "Cuando trae a su esposa, es SEÑOR PILIS, pero cuando viene solo... es SEÑORITO Pilis." My mom went on to ask him about his wife and where he was staying (his wife gave him the boot, apparently) and then Guy walked in going, "Eyyy, el señorito pil pilis!"

Can I just say that everyone I have met in Palo Mayombe is Cuban? Scratch that. They all have a cuban accent. EVERYONE. Guy doesn't have a cuban accent, but you can tell that it's starting to rub off on him. My mom, too. When my mom was talking to the Pilis guy, he spoke so fast that I could barely understand what he had said. The Padrino's daughter came out and my mom talked to her. She goes to my school and she mentioned that she hangs out with the Cubans. My mom laughed and told me I should hang out with the Cubans, too. BUT HERE'S THE THING. I hang out with Mari, and Mari doesn't like the cubans. More, she doesn't like their accent and their way of being. Having met my mom's Palo friends, they all have cuban accents so it's something I've gotten used to, though I can't always understand them. I've got nothing against them. BUT, the Cubans at my school talk shit about everyone and think they get away with it because no one else speaks spanish. There was this cuban girl in my PE class earlier in the year that spoke in spanish so she could talk shit about everyone, even me, and I didn't like it. I was like, "I'm not Cuban but I'm Mexican and I can speak Spanish too AND I CAN HEAR YOU TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME SO WHAT'S GOOD, FAM?" There's also this one cuban guy who constantly walks in to my English class and he's hit on me several times. He always walks in saying, "I know you, I know you," but when he sees me he goes, "Oh, I DEFINITELY know you. Trata de verse bien para papi." Or sometimes it's a, "Que niña tan hermosa y sin novio, pero no me ve, a?" It's not that I don't want to hang out with them, but they talk shit about their own friends too... no thanks. Also, I like being with Mari.

So, Guy came out of the daughter's room with a HOVERBOARD. The one all youtubers have now. It was a green hoverboard, and he was going back and forth on it. He gave it to Pilis, who was using it to go around in circles in the living room. We eventually all stepped inside and Guy was going up and down the driveway on it. He, SOMEHOW, managed to convince me to try it.

It was horrible.

You had to "press" down to go forward and "press" backwards to move back, and then "press" to the side to make a turn/go in circles. Yeah... I had no idea what I was doing. I was holding onto the fence because I couldn't balance myself on it. BUT, I was able to go forward a bit. The only reason why I was having difficulty was because I'm used to using my legs to move, like every other person who is fortunate enough to walk. I didn't want the machine doing the work for me. I was moving without using my feet, and it was weird. I told my mom I'd rather buy a drone than a hoverboard (the hoverboard was only $750 at the mall; the equivalent to one month worth of rent) but my mom said the drone was a lot more dangerous than the hoverboard because Enrique Iglesias had an accident with one. OKAY, but imagine all the pretty pictures I could take. I could see the world from a better perspective. I get to know the environment around me. But hurr durr, no more using fully functioning legs to get around BC HOVERBOARDS 2K15!!!!!!!!!!! WHY WALK WHEN YOU CAN USE HOVERBOARD?????


I'll take the drone instead.

I want pretty environment photos/videos over something I can use to get around--even though I already have a functioning body part(s) that can help me get to places.

So, my mom invited the daughter to come with us to the Halloveen event at Opportunity Village and she agreed to come. Once we got home, we put all of the shopping bags into the carts that were in the trunk. We walked to the front door when I saw a bouquet of roses sitting on the porch table and I completely freaked out.

Basically, a few days ago, I was at Walmart with Stephen. He was off looking for scary Halloween masks and I was looking at the flowers on display. There was a whole table dedicated to the bouquet of roses, but one of the white roses caught my eye. Now, my mom and Ivonne both work with flowers, and having been surrounded them basically my entire childhood, I think I have SOME right to say that the white roses at the store were absolutely perfect. I was completely in awe because I've never seen such pretty roses before, ESPECIALLY at Walmart. I'm not the type of girl that loves getting flowers as gifts, and hell, I can barely name three types of flowers besides dandelions and daisies, but these roses looked soooooooo, so beautiful. One of the older ladies looking at the roses also pointed out that the roses looked better than the rest. So, I was still looking at the roses when Stephen approached me with a mask on; he was trying to scare me but I was too distracted by the flowers. He went off to get some donuts and when he returned, I was still looking at the roses. I was actually taking pictures because honestly, I was probably never going to see a perfect rose again... at Walmart, nonetheless. He was kinda ticked off that I was obsessing over some stupid roses. BUT THESE WERE SO PERFECT. They looked like the roses you see in professional photographs, one of a kind. We had to leave the store and I was actually looking through my pockets to see if I had any money to buy them. But for once, I had seen an actual, "perfect" rose. I've never been so "attached" to a flower before.

And those same roses were on the table. My mom picked them up and she started smiling because she said that they looked beautiful--PERFECT. She read the note attached and then said my "boyfriend" (mi amigito) sent these. I took the note and it said:

"I lost a leg and an arm finding these. I fought an old lady off, I almost died. You owe me dinner.

Also, I still want the chocolate bar. ;)


THAT WAS SO NICE OF HIM. Once I was inside, I called him to thank him for getting me the roses but he said it was no problem, as long as I fed him the next time he came over. Roses for a meal? DONE. Stephen's an amazing friend. He didn't have to get me the roses, but now my problem was to keep the roses alive and pretty because I know nothing about plants. My mom found a vase for me to put the roses in, so I could keep them in my room.

I helped unpack all of the groceries before getting my things ready for the Halloveen event. My three other sisters were going to visit a friend, so it would only be me, my mom, Briana, the girl, and the two babies. I figured it would be nice if I invited Stephen to come with us, since we had extra tickets to get in, and as a way to continue thanking him. It felt like the nice thing to do, y'know? I asked my mom if it would be okay and she said sure, so I called Steph to see if he wanted to come and he said he'd come with us, as long as I messaged him a few minutes before we left. I took a shower and went back to wearing my PJs so I could wash my clothes. Our original time to leave was 4PM but we weren't ready until 5:30PM. The clothes was still in the dryer, but by the time my mom was getting dressed, the clothes were still a bit damp so I just had to get ready whether I liked it or not. Stephen arrived at my house right after I had just finished changing into my clothes... we were surprisingly matching.

I was wearing some black high waisted shorts, a black and white striped off the the shoulder shirt, some tights, my marching band knee high socks (they're actually useful sometimes), and my boots. He had his signature leather jacket of a flannel with his skinnies and combat boots. We looked good, kinda. It was an unintentional matching because his flannel was black and the shirt underneath was white. We all settled in my mom's van (it was kinda cramped, but it worked) and we stopped at a gas station before finally getting on highway 95. It took about half an hour to get to the event, which was located at CSN. I was pretty excited because I had seen a giant lizard thing on the way there, and I had never seen CSN before. We made our way to the parking lot and my siblings, my baby sister specifically, was ready to step out of the car. By the time we reached the entrance, I was regretting my choice of attire because it was 75°F outside and I was freezing. It didn't help that my clothes were still a bit damp. At the entrance, after giving the lady our free entry tickets, a guy around my age walked up to us to give us a bag, which we would use to collect candy on a trick or treat scavenger hunt thing. We walked around aimlessly until we stopped at this huge pumpkin coach, like the one from Cinderella. I climbed inside with my baby siblings to have our picture taken, and after that, we found that there was a map inside the bag. We walked around to a 3D maze but the lady told us we needed tickets or a wristband to get in to the attractions. Sooooo, we marched over to the other side of the park to buy wristbands. $12 for each wristband, kids 2 or under get in for free. We paid $72 for all of our wristbands and the very first attraction we went to was the Haunted Adventure.

Basically, there was this huge blow-up lizard thing that served the same purpose as a haunted house. We all stepped inside, hand in hand. Walking inside through the lizard's mouth, it was completely dark with fog everywhere. You could feel air being sprayed on you, which scared off the girl. I'm just gonna call her Amy because I don't know her name. Anyway, Stephen decided to man up and lead us all in. I was holding onto his hand, and Briana was holding onto mine. In a line, we all walked around, avoiding to be near the walls. The first minute into the lizard was walking through pure darkness. Eventually, you see green and orange/red lights that lead you to the next "room". There, you feel more air being sprayed on you. The whole lizard was just making turns; it wasn't much of a maze or anything. Somehow, Amy got ahead of us and by the end of the thing, we couldn't find the exit. We had people behind us, the cold air was being sprayed on our legs, it was dark, and there was no exit... except the exit was right in front of us the entire time.

The haunted lizard thing wasn't scary at all. Stephen and I were actually the only ones laughing the entire time because everyone else was screaming over everything. The only "scary" thing about the lizard was that we were anticipating for something, someONE to grab onto us, like they do at Fright Dome. But no. 3/10 for the cold air that was sprayed randomly.

After the lizard, we stopped at the restrooms because the screaming/laughing was making us pee ourselves. After our quick bathroom break, we walked over to the carousel. We had to wait in line for maybe 10 minutes before it was actually our turn. My mom wanted the kids to go first, so we sat them on the ponies and tied them with the safety belt. I was holding my sister, but she was terrified of the pony going up and down, so she'd lean on me and, she's a pretty heavy baby, so her leaning on me actually hurt. On the second turn, I switched with my mom so that I was holding onto my brother instead and he was actually enjoying the pony going up and down. By the end of the carousel ride, my sister wanted to go again but everyone else wanted to see the other attractions. We walked to the other side of the park to the 3D maze we had seen before. The lady at the front gave us all 3D glasses and we had to find our way out... it wasn't much of a maze. You had to follow the only path that was available. At the beginning, there was this clown that would honk and it was THE most annoying sound, but after a while, the Willy Wonka song came on that helped drown out the clown honk. Towards the end, there was a room with several boxes opening and closing by themselves. Standing besides them... Not fun! It was almost as annoying as the clown. We also had to give the 3D glasses back, too. 4/10 because of the misleading title. No actual maze, but the colors were cool. They were actually 3D.

We boarded the train right after, and it was something my mom was looking forward to the entire time. Briana and my brother ended up sitting by themselves somewhere in the front, but the rest of us sat in the very back. Stephen and I sat in the second to last cart (the last one was reserved for one of the "cowboy" workers) and my mom sat with Amy and the baby in the seat in front of us. While we waited for the workers to check the closed doors, I complained about me not bringing a jacket so Steph took his off and put it around me. I gave it back and said "no it's yours" but then he said "what kind of gentlemen would I be if I let the princess freeze in the cold?" I rolled my eyes and told him that a gentleman doesn't burp his own name out loud (he did it when we stopped at the gas station and it was grossly amusing) but then the train started and the cowboy worker jumped in to the last cart. Stephen just put the jacket around me so instead of arguing, I thanked him. We circled almost the entire park and the ride quickly came to an end. After that, we stopped at the lizard place again, just because... everyone came out except for Stephen. I went in again, wondering where he could have gone since there was only a single exit and no place to hide. As I was nearing the exit, I felt someone cover my eyes and mouth. After seeing that I didn't react, I was released and I saw him laughing his ass off when I rolled my eyes; he was hiding behind one of the lizard "guts". I wasn't scared of anything, but I definitely didn't see it coming. He was helping two girls (they rode in front of the kids at the carousel) scare the people walking by because the whole lizard wasn't scary enough itself. Soooo, I left through the exit and told my mom I needed to go through again to check thoroughly. I went in and quickly made my way to his hiding spot. We spent about 3 minutes in there until Briana came in, searching for us... and she left the lizard, crying. The girls were yelling out "BOO!" while Stephen and I touched their legs and shoulders. The adults were actually the most scared, while some of the kids joined in. It was great!

After that, we stopped at the little diner trailer and ordered something to eat. A single hot dog, three nachos with cheese and one with chili. Briana and I were seated on one side while my mom, Amy, and the kids were seated at another side, but they were getting napkins for everyone else, so it was just me, Steph, and Briana. I was getting ready to bite into my hotdog when Stephen muttered, "So... She likes it in the mouth." I LOST MY SHIT, MAN. Briana looked at him, trying not to laugh, and I had gotten up to sit on the other side of the table. He came and sat beside me, trying not to laugh. Being friends with him means I can't eat any bananas or hotdogs without him saying something stupid like that. Jeez. Briana came over to sit beside him once my mom and Amy arrived. We all ate peacefully for a few minutes. Once I was done eating, Stephen asked if I wanted to go on the carousel and I said sure. Everyone else was still eating, so we went without them. Plus, the tables were near the carousel so they could watch us if they wanted to. The line to the carousel was fairly short compared to the first time, so we were able to get on quickly. I hopped on the doe while Steph boarded the dragon beside me... Makes sense, doesn't it? I was actually pretty nervous because I had never been on a carousel before. It felt a little weird, especially since I'm not a little girl anymore. But, I did enjoy myself. Once it was over, we walked over to the group. They were all ready to go, so we made our way out of the park... It was enjoyable. The attractions weren't all that scary as I hoped they'd be, but enjoyable. At the end of the day, the money earned goes to help kids with disabilities, and that's all that matters, right? I hope that the money spent helps make a difference somehow. And if Halloveen is available next year, I'll definitely make sure to find more tickets! It was great. I wish I had brought money to spend, though. The way back was pretty okay. Briana was trying to "turn up" to music on the radio but it was a huge fail because the only "turn up" music that was playing was Taylor Swift. I put on DolDrum by Mr. Mala and THAT was turn up music, and so was the rest of my trap playlist. Steph and I were completely rocking out to the song but Briana was annoyed with my taste in music. "It's just another stupid phase." TRAP MUSIC IS LIFE. I don't know why I ever hated it; maybe I was just listening to the wrong songs? But yeah, the ride home was pretty great. We dropped Amy off and then went back home. I invited Stephen inside for dinner--the one I've been owing him for a while now--since my mom made posole but he just wanted to talk with me outside on the porch. So, we talked. I talked to him about school and he talked to me about his work, and we talked about whatever came to mind. It was around 9:30PM that he had to go, so I gave him his jacket back and thanked him for the roses. He said he'd come back for dinner another time, and that he didn't really want the chocolate bar anymore. I went back inside to put on my PJs and I watched a few more episodes of Daria.

That was basically my night. It was fun. I got to hang out with my best friend and I got an unexpected gift. Everything was going okay and I was happy.

(Meant to post this on the 1st because now it's the 3rd, whooooooops. After watching Daria, I knocked out and decided I'd just write again in the morning. I'll just change the date and pretend that I actually wrote this on time, heheh.)

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