2015-11-01 04:43:26 (UTC)

10/30/15 Friday

Opened door for the maid at 12. Fed jz. Let her watch jz, I got ready. Postpartum doctor appt. Back home. His mom came back. Told me maybe I should go live with my dad while she is in China. What does that mean? We should split up and let me raise jz? 我是被吓了一下。我自己倒算了, 搞不好更幸福。but jz will definitely be worse. What if he hates me in the future for being selfish. Went upstairs to feed jz. He came home early. Weren't talking to each other until after dinner he asked me if I want go to ssf house to pack and talk to my dad about living situation. I should 低头, at least the first 2 years. Went to ssf. Talked to dad about renting a room. Packed some things. The guy renting the house came to live tonight. Home after midnight. We r back to normal. Ate night snack at 3 or 4. I still sleep in the other room. the mattress is better and have more room got jz and brighter. Started a Chinese movie but fell asleep. Jz slept on me with his face smashing my boobs.