Brooke the goat

can you not
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2015-10-22 23:29:10 (UTC)

feeling the worst, acting like the best

Rio de Janeiro, Thursday, October 22, 2015

Yeah, i disappeared for awhile. Many things happened but i'll sum it up in part one and part two and maybe part three. Welcome to my half hell.

October 04, 2015

The night before day 04, Luke had told me that he would go to a party with some friends. And in that party he would drink, of course. I already knew he would drink. I thought in make a joke like "if you drink don't call me" but i thought well and came to the conclusion that it would not.

Was midnight on 05 October when i get a message saying that Luke had arrived at home and he was drunk. We talked about the party and i jokingly asked if the crush had gone to the party. Let me explain this part, i used to say that Jessy was the girl he liked but i always knew it was not.
He asked me "Why do you think i love jessy?" I said anything that didn't make sense because i wanted to get out of that subject.

He asked me if i wanted to know who he likes and i said if he wanted he could say. It just broke me with one sentence "the girl i like is you." I had no reaction, i waited for months that but i can't feel anything for him. All i felt was false, nothing was real. I thought i had finally fallen in love but no.

I told him he couldn't date him because i'm not the girl for him. And i'm really not. I'm the kind of girl that will break your heart in a blink of eyes and it's horrible for me to say it.

He was not only hurt, he also got angry. I was hurt for hurting him. I didn't want it but it happened. I can't be reciprocal to this love, i can't. I abhor this feeling. And all this time i thought I felt it.

- Brooke


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