Nick's Journal
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2015-10-20 01:45:11 (UTC)

Day 62

i honestly had meant to write this entry on my 60th day of sobriety. the longest i'd managed to remain sober since i started drinking again four years ago was 45 days. so just getting to the 46th day felt monumental to me.

which brings me to the emphasis we put on "# of days". don't get me wrong, i am very happy for those who are proud of the longevity of their sobriety (for isn't that really what it's all about?) it just feels sort of weird to me.

one of the counselors at the center i went to said that he felt weird that AA was one of the few groups where you could get a round of applause for just acting like a decent human being.

anyway, i don't know what i'm trying to say. what really struck me the other day was that, since i had resumed drinking 4 years ago, i had not been 2 months sober. that is fucking insane.

overall i feel a lot better. although i do have to admit i still don't deal with stress really well. it's a difficult balance in managing day-to-day frustrations. exercising helps a lot and in that sense it was somewhat of a god-send that our car is trapped behind our broken garage door.

i am having to walk far more now that i have to rely on public transportation. and frankly, i am craving exercise. i have taken the dog out for walks at least 3 times daily. to give you an idea of when i was drinking, i would maybe walk the dog 3 times a a week.

anyhow, things are going really well. i am looking forward to thanksgiving and going to see my family. my brother got a puppy just this month and i can't wait to hang out with it.