Finally a nice dream
Finally a nice freaking dream. Usually, my unconscious mind seems to only bring up nightmares. Usually they are filled with anxiety of some sorts. Feelings of betrayal, infidelity, remorse, etc. Always some shit where I wake up feeling dreadful during my waking state. I can't even find peace when I sleep.
Well, just a couple of days ago, I finally had a nice dream. I'm not lost between reality and fantasy. I'm not coo-coo just yet. A nice feeling is so rare nowadays for me. Even in a dream, I'll take it.
It was about the prequel to falling in love. That moment when you already know someone and are just starting to have feelings for each other. The flirting, the innocent little conversations. The little accidental brushing of their hair as you walk by or bump (possibly not so much by accident). The first few flirtative conversations. The "want" to talk to someone again. The feeling of having to wait to see that person again. The first few sorta serious phone calls at the beginning of a romance. All this stuff before the first kiss, before the first holding of the hand, before the first hug.
It was great. it was a time I felt long long ago. I guess during my younger days. I'd forgotten how that felt. I guess my mind buried it but maybe my soul just never forgot. I didn't even think this feeling was even possible anymore. Not sure how or why I dreamt it. Maybe my soul is reminding me I'm not so dead yet. Most likely, I'm just going nuts. lol All I know was that it felt great. I woke up feeling great. It was a beautiful day. My soul felt things I haven't felt in a long time.
Again, I haven't lost touch with reality. I just know that my soul is not as jaded as I thought. I just know it was wonderful just to feel nice for a little while. Even if it's in my dreams.
Reality will set in again soon. I am strong. I have no choice. I will be back to normal. Finding what positive I can find. Enjoying my hobbies like kayak fishing. Doing whatever it takes to get through the day. Just want to enjoy this feeling for another day or so :)