Songbird System

Raven
2015-09-03 04:43:56 (UTC)

I Need Some Peace of Mind

"I want to be alone-"
"Why are you saying that when you're alone, Kaleigh?"
Goddammit, how have people not realized that something just might be going on by how many times that happened??? Oh, she keeps saying that when she's by herself, I wonder what that means. HHHHHHHMMMMMMM. I'm just gonna come out now, and Kaleigh would by like how the heck did you come here. Magic.
But, seriously though, throughout my years, I've noticed that my intermediate family is a lot more not accepting than they claim to be. Like, for example again...
"Oh, sweetie, we'll accept any sexuality you are."
"I'm asexual-"
"No, you aren't. You just haven't found the right person."
"But, you just said-"
"You just have to find the right person."
And, you know what, us asexuals get the bad end of the stick mostly. Not only are we mistreated by homophobs, but we get mistreated in the LGBT community. Like what the fuck?
Because this is also becoming a norm of my diary once again (you know because of the last diary she destroyed), my sister is being a goddamn bitch. I'VE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HER. And, because of my fucking PTSD, I become a fucking doormat. Yeah, I'm seething with rage! Because my sister acts like she's the victim. Well, guess who abused the other one??? Who bound and gagged her??? YOU. Oh, and the fake suicide confession was fucking sick. You made me worried, but, no, it was all just a lie to make things even more fucking dramatic!!! ARGH!
My sister is like...but I've depression and social anxiety, and that justifies everything. NO, IT FUCKING DOESN'T. I've depression and specialized social anxiety. You're. Not. The. Only. Fucking. One.
Oh, you also know what I have? Do ya, Morgan? Let's see, ADHD, PTSD, voices in my head, inferiority complex, guilt complex, lisp, conditioning mishaps...
Speaking on conditioning mishaps, I guess I can go further into the torment I went through in elementary school. Because that's such a fun subject to write about...
You know what those bitches used to do so I could feel stupid and not worthy to write or learn math. DO YA? Well, they made me go up in the front of the class room and ask me questions. Oh, it only gets better from here. These weren't fourth grader questions, and I still have no idea what they are. And, you know what, after I get even one of them wrong, they would make the whole class laugh at me so they could leave.
And people say kids with ADHD don't get mistreated in schools. HA HA HA!
Well, I went all over the place with this diary entry, but, ya know, I'm tired and I need to vent.
Oh, and the voices are still a pain in the ass. ;)




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