Very sensitive today...
Very sensitive today.
One of those days where everything I feel the weight of all that is going on in my life.
I am still mentally struggling with how I allowed myself to lose money on my trading over the weekend. That has affected my week and finances in a bad way and when my finances are not in order I am sad.
Currently in recovery mode.
The court case is also beginning to weigh on my mind especially the work I am suppose to do in preparation for the case as I am representing myself. I also have tax issues I have to agree with the Inland Revenue, that is a worry on its own. Then there is the uncertainty of my business. We are currently negotiating a partnership deal with an indigenous company. As I am not part of the negotiation it is quite frustrating no knowing the eventual outcome. Hopefully we would have something in place by end of the month. It also affects my location. If the partnership goes ahead I may have to go and live abroad. This means living away from my children, which I don’t like. I am looking for ways I can possibly work from my current location and travel. I want to be close to my children. The oldest one is at an age where he needs all the guidance he can get. I have to sit down with him very soon to talk about several things including his studies, social activities, his football, peer pressure and other vices. I hope I can convey the message correctly to him. I am also very angry with myself regarding my current knowledge. Giving my background I should know far more than I do. The good thing about life is that you can always make amend. I plan to resume my studies in September and also do a lot of studying during the night . This is a promise to myself. I will not be happy if I don’t accomplish this.
My relationship – I don’t have any more bandwidth! I want to really concentrate on myself and what I can achieve for now so would not be looking to meet any new people for now.