✯Sincerely, Me✯

☯LivingWithMyself☯
2015-08-21 19:02:23 (UTC)

My Religious Family


Dear Reader,

Before I write this, I would like to add a disclaimer.

I am all for religion.
I feel that if YOUR religion makes YOU happy, and makes YOUR life complete and gives YOUR life meaning, then that's great!
If it makes YOUR life better, then I have no problems with YOU having a religion.


But the second you try shoving it down my throat,
That's when we have a problem.


Nothing triggers my anxiety like religious fights do.
Even writing this is making me jittery..
Because of all the anxiety associated with this topic dives my panic disorder up the wall.


I identify as Atheist/Agnostic.
I accept the scientific explanation for our existence,
but I also believe that there could be something more to it all.
I don't deny the possibility to it.


I live in a Christian household.
If you want to know how my family works in greater detail, see my entry "How To Be Me - In My House"


My family aren't peaceful Christians.
They are angry Bible thumping bigots.
They DEMAND that you respect their beliefs,
but constantly berate me and my older brother, Ry for ours.

They will start preaching at you/Bible thumping at ANY given moment.
Anything can trigger this. I was cooking can biscuits the other day, and I couldn't get the can open, and this sent my grandmother into a whole fuss. She kept preaching about the end of the world when the lord comes back, how I need to be ready..
Yeah, it's that bad.


They shamefully disrespect other religions, and refuse to accept scientific progress.

They are offended by the fact our country is trying to separate church and state, and to treat all religions equally and fairly, and recognize them all, but give their religion no special treatment.


My grandmother's sister wants me to attend church with her on Sunday, and I hate having to tell my family members no... but I did.

The entry I mentioned earlier describes how I live in this house.

One of the main things I can't do, is talk about how I feel, or what I think and believe.

I have to stand there silently while they preach at me, and I can't tell them I'm not Christian. They already know that I'm not, but hearing me say it will send them further into anger and disappointment.
I always have to dance around saying it, to avoid further conflict.

They feel as though they are entitled to preach and talk about what they believe all they like, but the second we say anything about what we believe... we're "insulting" their intelligence and religion.
They don't want to hear any of it, and refuse too.
But they don't care if WE don't want to hear any of it from them either.

So I told my aunt as politely and respectfully as I could that no, I didn't want to go, and I thanked her anyway for inviting me.
She said that she'll keep asking me until I change my mind..

I don't understand this logic.
My grandmother gets angry at my younger brother all the time for doing this... Asking until you annoy the person enough that they say yes, JUST to shut the other person up.
It's childish...
But suddenly it's okay when the adults do it to us?
Mmhmm.


It's a toxic environment.
I hate all the anxiety it causes me.
Just writing this is wearing me out.


Wish me luck.

Sincerely,
BillNye




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