LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
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2015-08-19 13:43:32 (UTC)

Cold Wind


"Cold Wind" by Arcade Fire [the instrumentals in this song are amazing]

There's music on the station
And I'm just listening to cold wind whistling

August 19, 2015 Wednesday 1:46 PM


Rolling it up the hill again.

"One must believe Sisyphus was happy."


(I get such a strange pleasure out of knowing these myths)

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There's a new Lore episode! I've yet to listen to it. !!! They always make me so happy. Makes me think of the future, a bit.

I'm trapped in the past, present, future, everything I'll ever do, I've already done. I don't think the future is a set thing, but whatever is going to happen has already been pushed into motion... So in a way, I suppose it is.

I feel pretty happy!

I'm nervous, though. I got my school packet in the mail. I'll have to go to the high school next Wednesday to get my schedule and locker. I'll be on the first floor this year!!! I'm happy about that, but it also means I'm one of the upperclassmen :(

Gosh. I forgot to call my guidance counselor AGAIN - I've been trying to switch into a regular physics class instead of AP Bio. I like Biology, and if I try doing the AP class this year, I'm going to die. APUSH already killed me a little inside so..

Besides, I'm curious when it comes to physics. I want to see if I'm any good at it.

I'm taking Precalculus this year. Other than that, honors English, my AP history class, an art class, and Spanish 3. (We have 9 periods in a day, one of them is lunch. For the other two empty periods, I'll have science Lab and hopefully, a study hall.

Oh, yeah. I forgot. The upperclassmen also have sixth period lunch. So I don't have to worry about having no one to sit with! Although I'm going to miss Liv. She's a sophomore this year and I doubt she'll be placed in sixth period.

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Yesterday, I felt really weird. I think I had low blood pressure and it started freaking me out. Every time I'd get up, my vision would go black. That's happened to me before, but not EVERY SINGLE TIME I've gotten up before?? I'm not even getting up very quickly.

That, combined with my trembling was starting to scare me. I'm okay now=, but I'm still getting kinda lightheaded when I get up.

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On a sad note, I saw a picture of April today, which resulted in a wave of sadness. I hate that feeling. The one I get when I look at pictures of Elise and my doggy.

It's a weird mixture of anger, grief, and helplessness??? And a very strong desire. Maybe I can will them into existence again, haha.

I miss them more than I care to admit.



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