✯Sincerely, Me✯

☯LivingWithMyself☯
2015-08-12 03:11:42 (UTC)

We Used To Be Friends


Dear Sarah,


When we first met, I liked you.
Despite having dated the guy I had a crush on the year before,
I liked you. You turned out to be fun.
You were really nice, and funny and chill.

I already knew Cruz in our photography class.
She went to my elementary school.
That helped in a way.

You were a special case.
You were one of my friends I was able to make on my own,
with special circumstances.

We all had been talking some since the year began.
It wasn't until that fateful day, that I had arrived at school only having 3 hours sleep.
I was very very loopy 1st block, and was able to make you and Cruz laugh so hard.
It was a win for me internally...

Since then, we were friends.

I thought we would be for most of our lives... but I was wrong.

We became such good friends,
that you were given the best friend title for awhile.
You took that spot from Tez.
Everyone knew that we were best friends.


I spent the night with you at mom's house over the summer.
We went to a nice touristish attraction type town...
We bought a set of wooden best friends bracelet.
Mine was black, yours was green.

At one point you gave me a giant colorful rhinestone peace sign stretch ring for Christmas.

We started telling everyone that we were married.
We "married" each other on facebook.

You blew me off on Halloween, but whatever. I got over it.

You invited me onto your irc chat.
I met J0n, there.
I made friends kinda with your friends online.

You joined us at lunch in the second semester of the 11th grade, with Al(ex).
Everything was fine...


And then the end of the year happened.
You broke up with your boyfriend (Who was my friend/puppylove in elementary school) that you dated for maybe a week or two.. you only knew him for a few days before you started dating.
He went after me, all we did was flirt.. you didn't give a shit.

And then I started talking to Al(ex) on facebook.


You had a crush on him when you first met him, but then friendzoned him for whatever reason.

We talked over the summer, but not as much as normal.
When we did talk, I wish I had've told you that I was talking to Al(ex).
We weren't official at time.. I knew you had liked him in the past...

He dumped me a little before school started.


You had changed towards the end of the school year and over the summer.

You just became this person, that I didn't meet in the 10th grade.

I started noticing something...
Whenever you needed a friend to talk too whenever you were upset..
I was there...
But if it were vice versa?
Ha, no. Not for me.

You became loud.
You became obnoxious.
You became narcissistic.

And on the 2nd day of school, you became Al(ex)'s girlfriend.

Suddenly, you thought just because you're short, you're cute.
Just because you have a boyfriend, that you're so much cooler and better than everyone else.
Suddenly, you started dressing preppier and girlier.
You tried to be funny, laughed at your own jokes.
You started acting all tough and big and bad, when clearly you aren't.


I began avoiding you...
Because you just kept pissing me off.
And wherever you were, Al(ex) was bound to be closeby.
You'd talk about him constantly.

I tried to make it work, I did whatever I could.. sometimes we'd be good, but then you'd do something and fuck it up.

We had lunch together again, for the last time the second semester of our senior year.
I listened to music or pretended you and Gabben didn't exist.

I was done with you.

Now, we don't talk.

I hate it when you comment on my posts.

I'm tempted to unfriend you from everything...
but I know it'll start drama.

So, ignoring you is all I can do about it.


Sincerely,
Danuh

P.S.
Juno Vwat?

I never told you that I dated Al(ex) because I just wanted you to be happy regardless of how much it hurt me for you to talk about it.
I knew telling you would risk you breaking it off with him....
And you're both happy together. I didn't want to mess that up.
I also didn't want it to get in the way of our friendship, but it was futile.
Our friendship was falling apart regardless, and I wish I could have seen that sooner, so that I could have told you in the beginning, and maybe it would have turned out differently... whether we remained friends... we worked around it.. you never dated him... (found someone better if that was the case) etc.
I can't help but wonder if things would have turned out better, if I had've just told you in the beginning.

I'll always regret that.

Maybe someday, I'll tell you.




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