No one I know knows this exists
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2015-08-04 10:37:03 (UTC)

What does it take?

So... I'm getting sick of being a nice single white male with a decent job. In 6 years, I'll be a 40 year old virgin! My home is in a convenient location and I own it outright. I have no debts. I have an eHarmony account - the closest I've got was a phone call she didn't answer then a few hours later sent a text saying she's "sorry, her situation has changed and can no longer communicate. I sound like a great guy and I wish you all the best."

I'm good with kids, have heaps of patience, am quick to laugh and slow to anger. I'm tall, in reasonable health, intelligent, can use tools, computers and guns, I have a 4wd and a motorbike, a a boat license. I know Shakespeare (Solanio) and Masquerade (Phantom of the Opera). I pick up new things quickly and am happy to help.

The decent ladies I know have boyfriends and the ones who don't are either far too young, too old or borderline psychotic.

I don't think my standards are all that high but I guess it's my fault. I should have grabbed Mel when she was 18 and I was 27 and she had a huge crush on me and we learnt rock & roll dancing for a few months while she had a dropkick (for real) boyfriend. If I knew then what I know now, I'd probably have 3 or 4 kids by now, working 9 till 5 and coming home to a wife and kids... instead, I'm alone and she's an overweight single mum the last I heard.

I'm tempted to go find a brothel to find out what all the fuss is about.

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