Brooke the goat
can you not
1 day for my birthday
Rio de Janeiro, Thursday, July 30, 2015
Missing a day for my birthday. To me it looks set to be another ordinary day, i hope to be wrong. Today i have to make an assessment to begin my treatment to improve my column and get rid of scoliosis.
Well, i'm concerned, not with my column. I'm worried about my mother. there is something very wrong with her. I don't know what it is, but she vomited and hear her talk to my father, who had gone to the doctor.
Before yesterday i asked if she could go at the mall with me and she said she was not feeling well. Yesterday i heard her talk to my father that she felt very bad, she said she felt a strong dizziness. My mother has labyrinthitis, but still i'm concerned. The fact that she had vomited i can suspect that she may be pregnant.
My mother became pregnant again in 2012. I didn't react very well to that. But also didn't react badly. I just felt strange, i'm not very affectionate so i didn't celebrate. She lost the baby, and once she said that "it was not well received". I feel bad about it. Because i can't be affectionate and loving at times. Sometimes i have the impression that she blames me for not having this child.
Anyway, it's amazing how it's always close to my birthday something bad happens. In 2013 my mother had to go to the doctor on my birthday and i had to be alone all day. When it was nearly midnight they came and bought a pizza and sang happy birthday to you. I don't want this to happen again this year.
I don't want to be alone. I'm always alone, but when my birthday is different. it's as if everyone has forgotten, as if no one cared. Well, today is the birthday of my aunt. She make birthday one day before me (oh really?).
So when my mom was pregnant had one little war between her and the friend of my mother (who has a birthday on 1st August). My aunt wanted me to be born on the 30th and the friend of my mom wanted me to be born on day 1st. Just that i was born on the 31st. I'm a rebellious girl.
Anyway, as my Aunt lives far away, i hardly ever see her. But every time she calls to my house she says "hi my love, it's me, your crazy aunt. I love you okay? never forget that." I miss her. perhaps because it's the one who says that she loves me all the time. I wanted to see her on my birthday. It need not bring gifts. Oh god how i miss her.
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