Nadia

wet blanket
2015-07-20 15:13:47 (UTC)

Sad Memories

There's so much pain in the world.
I remember when I was 13 and my best friend was Jessa. We had this really great day, we went to our favourite cafe and then we got sushi. It was always a good day when I was with her. As mum picked me up she looked concerned after talking with Jessa's mum.

Jessa called me not long after I got home. This was unusual. She seemed her normal self.. mostly. What I'll never fucking forget is her voice breaking as she started crying. Her cousin Nicola had killed herself. She was hurting so much and it even affected me. If I felt terrible I can't imagine the pain she was feeling. I've talked about helplessness before. Thinking about what you could have done. Honestly that's always been something I think about when I feel suicidal. It's not Jacob, it's not Jade, it's not Connor, not any of my family. It's Jessa. I hope she's doing okay I haven't talked to her in a really long time.

One of the few friendships where I could talk to someone about honestly anything and be my complete self was with her. She was always there for me.

Maybe I should message her.




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